


Survivor Sentence

by HandsomeManExpress (DangerousCommieSubversive)



Series: The Wrestlememe-ia Experience [2]
Category: Chikara (Professional Wrestling), Lucha Underground, World Wrestling Entertainment, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Meme, Multi, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Other, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 93
Words: 19,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5219345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/HandsomeManExpress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompts from the HandsomeManExpress Tumblr, from memes that revolved around words or lines of dialogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mark Angelosetti (Mr. Touchdown) and Dasher Hatfield

**Author's Note:**

> These memes are all themed around either using a single word as a prompt, or a pre-written line of dialogue. I'll try to include each prompt as it arrives. All promotions I write for are included, and chapters are titled by character; just take a quick scan through the chapter listing to find something that suits you. ^_^
> 
> First meme is thusly:
> 
> dialogue prompts!  
> snowflakewincest:
> 
> send me a number + pairing
> 
> “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”  
> “I’m sorry about what happened the other day.”  
> “Make me.”  
> “Hey, could you give me a hand with this?”  
> “I’ve never been good enough for you, have I?"   
> "No, please, anything—anything but that.”  
> “I don’t want you to leave.”  
> “Oh god—fuck—yes, right there.”  
> "I can’t let you walk home alone like this.”  
> “I’m sorry, do I know you?”  
> “You look like shit.”  
> “Do you… Do you want to come inside for coffee?”  
> “…What now?”  
> “Forgive me.”  
> “I’m tired of being your dirty little secret.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shamecar asked: we should discuss mark getting upset in the locker room after their match and childishly trying to hide his angry tears from dasher.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (look it's not from the meme but I like it here)

They’re in the locker room trying to change and Mark’s misery is palpable. Mark doesn’t feel anything quietly, all of his emotions are  _loud,_  and while Dasher tries to do him the courtesy of pretending that he doesn’t notice, eventually he can’t let it slide.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says, still trying to pretend that he’s not noticing, “we oughtta take a look at you, you got hit pretty hard out there–”

Mark bats away the hand on his shoulder. “I’m fine.” He tries to turn away from Dasher, and Dasher hears a little noise.

“Mark, look at me.”

Mark keeps turning away.

Frustrated, Dasher grabs his shoulder and turns him, and Mark tries to turn his head away, and there’s a smudge in the black paint on his cheeks and his eyes are wet and furious.

“Fucking…cheaters.”

Dasher says, half-heartedly, “You watch your mouth, young man,” even as he’s pulling his partner into a one-armed hug.

Mark scowls into the side of his neck, even though he  _is_  hugging back. "Was  _I_ that annoying?“

"I’d say you were worse, kiddo, but that Bakabella guy takes the cake.” Dasher pauses. “…what a nerd.”

Mark lets out a weird hysterical snorting noise and then starts to shake with silent laughter. “Oh my god we’re gonna beat them up  _so bad_  when we get our belts back.”

“That’s the plan, Mark. That’s what I figure.”


	2. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sashaisaboss asked: 4+cassamore
> 
> 4\. “Hey, could you give me a hand with this?”

Cass is fighting through wrestler creation in 2K15, trying with furious concentration to make the model look at least halfway like him, when he hears a loud crash from the kitchen.

He lowers the controller with a frown. “‘Zo? You ok in there?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” Enzo sounds vaguely offended. “How you doin’ with the game?”

“Still can’t get my nose right.”

“Yeah, well. You gotta get the hang of it so you can make me.”

“Wish I could do 'Mella too.”

“Yeah, that’s bullshit. Anyway, you. Uh. You just get to it, don’t worry about me.”

Cass shrugs and goes back to Create-A-Wrestler.

A minute later, he’s got the nose right, he’s moving on to ring gear, and there’s another crash.

“…'Zo?” Cass leans back in his chair. “You  _sure_  you’re ok?”

“I told you I'm  _fine._ ”

“If you say so.”

Finally, at the third crash, Enzo says, “Uh. Cass. Could you gimme a hand with this?”

Cass puts down the controller and goes into the kitchen, where Enzo is sitting on the floor next to the shards of a broken plate, looking frustrated. “What were you tryina  _do?_ ”

Enzo scowls. “Wanted to get the fuckin’ Oreos down, that’s all.”

Cass looks at where he’s pointing and almost laughs. “'Zo, you know you can’t reach that shelf.”

“Shut up, I can reach it just fine. I slipped is all–hey, hey! Whadda you think you’re doing?” He flails like a cat as Cass picks him up bodily and  _lifts_  him up to the top shelf of the cabinet.

“You’re kinda cute when you’re bein’ a stubborn dumbass.” Cass grins at him.

Enzo takes the package of Oreos. “You shut up.”


	3. Brad Maddox and Roman Reigns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: #3 Brad/Roman *heart eyes*
> 
> 3\. “Make me.”

“So what’s up?”

The problem isn’t getting Roman Reigns’ attention. The problem is not being terrified of him once Brad  _has_  his attention.

He looks up at Roman, who keeps being persistently taller than him, and says, “I need something from the Shield. I need you to pass a message to your…comrades for me. So that we can. All talk sometime. In a very public place where you can’t attack me.”

Roman raises an eyebrow. “ _You_  have something to say to the  _Shield?_ ”

“I have things to say. I’m good at saying things.”

“I don’t carry anyone’s messages.”

Brad swallows hard. “Please?”

Roman leans in and gets right in his face, grinning in a way that says  _I’m gonna punch you._  “Make me.”

Brad is seized by a wild urge.

A stupid urge.

A dangerous, self-destructive Bugs Bunny urge.

He kisses Roman on the nose.

Roman blinks, looking taken aback. “So are you hitting on me or…?”

“Tell your buddies that I need to talk to you without getting my ass kicked and that if everything works out you’ll get to beat up Randy Orton very publicly.” Brad backs away and then hurries off before Roman can stop being startled and go back into kill mode.

Roman just blinks as he leaves and then reaches up to touch the tip of his nose. “Man, I don’t even know what just happened.” After a moment he shrugs. “Guess I’ll go find Dean and Seth, then.”


	4. Deucalion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shamecar asked: Deucalion- brontide
> 
> Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next meme is all about words!
> 
> Send me a word and a character/series/pairing and I will write a drabble:  
> squirreltastic:
> 
> Cheiloproclitic - Being attracted to someones lips.  
> Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on.  
> Ultracrepidarian - Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge.  
> Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.  
> Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing.  
> Autolatry - The worship of one’s self.  
> Cagamosis - An unhappy marriage.  
> Gargalesthesia - The sensation caused my tickling.  
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy.  
> Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.  
> Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss.  
> Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder.  
> Agelast - A person who never laughs.  
> Wanweird - An unhappy fate.  
> Dystopia - Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell.  
> Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground.  
> Anagapesis - The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did.  
> Malapert - Clever in manners of speech.  
> Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm.  
> Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot.  
> Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”.  
> Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.  
> Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads no where.  
> Baisemain - A kiss on the hand.  
> Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside.  
> Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.

Deucalion is very patient.

It is all about the final reckoning.

Whether or not this is known, whether or not anyone else is privy to his plans, that is irrelevant. He has his own concerns and keeps his own council, and he has waited for a very long time.

Chikara. The strength of Chikara will get him many things, when they are finally broken to him. When their sugary front crumbles away and all that is left is warriors who bow to him.

Their captive, Jimmy’s pet, the Snow Troll, is asleep on the floor nearby, the deep breathing of his slumber like the soft sound of thunder many miles away. His chain is looped around the leg of Deucalion’s chair. If Deucalion had the means he would take a picture, he would send it to their Champion, he would tell Icarus, “This storm has been coming for years.

"You have known it without knowing it. This one has accepted it; he is the first of many. He is wiser than you.

"I am the storm and I will break you.

"I am the lord of the Flood. And I am coming.”

He could make Jimmy Jacobs carry the message. The duty would please him, most likely.

But Deucalion decides that he would rather bide his time.

He would prefer their final destruction to be a surprise.


	5. Ashley Remington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Ashely Remington- baisemain
> 
> Baisemain - A kiss on the hand

There’s this awkward thing that happens around shows where you find yourself running into people that you wouldn’t normally spend time with. There are time constraints, everyone’s in a hurry, people are hungry, there’s not enough space to spread out. You run into people.

So a certain gentleman from the state of Kentucky is sitting in a folding chair, and he’s got an apple in his hand, and he’s staring at it with murderous intensity when a certain Ecuadorian aristocrat says, “Are you going to eat that?”

Chuck jumps. “What? No. Go away. It’s mine, Ashley gave it to me.”

“Another fruit basket?” Juan raises an eyebrow and takes a sip of his water.

“He is just… _oohh._ ” Little bruises are forming on the apple under Chuck’s fingers. “He is  _fantastic._  Why won’t he go  _away?_ I hate him. This is terrible.”

"Agreed.”

“I hate how he does that thing where he’s  _nice._  And.  _Good-looking._ ” Chuck looks furious. “And he does that  _thing_  where he  _smiles_  and he’s  _friendly_  and he fucking  _kisses your hand_  and then it’s just like, whoops, you’re in bed two hours later having a smoke.”

And Juan…blinks. “He does that to you too?”

"See? It’s  _awful!_  I’m gonna  _kill_  him!”

Juan sits down in another chair next to him. “He is…very charming.”

"He’s  _fantastic._ ”

Missile Assault Ant, who is hurrying by with what  _definitely_  looks like things that’ll get him disqualified from his match if he uses them, stops on a dime in front of them, looks over, and says, “Missile Assault Ant?”

Juan takes another sip of water and nods. “We were.”

"Missile Assault Ant!”

Chuck looks up with a start. “You  _too?_  Missile, I didn’t even know you  _liked_ guys.”

Missile Assault Ant shrugs. “Missile Assault Ant.”

“Also what are you even doing here, go hang out with your shitty friends.”

“Missile Assault Ant.” Missile flips him off and then hurries away.

Mark and Dasher come through, discussing strategy for their match, and Chuck sucks apple juice off one finger and says, “Hey, look, have either of  _you_  guys slept with Ashley Remington? Is this just, like, a  _thing_  he does?”

Mark says, looking startled, “Have I  _what?_ ”

And Dasher just says, “Um.”


	6. Randy Orton and Triple H

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shamecar asked: ALSO Randy Orton --> Hunter - lalochezia (I hope the format of this one makes sense)
> 
> Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain

Randy has been swearing at him for a solid hour.

It’s not very  _creative_  swearing, Cowboy Bob wasn’t an educated enough man to pass on any especially interesting curses to his boy. Mostly it’s just variations on “fuck you, you prick bastard,” yelling about all the “fucking bullshit,” and a variety of threats about what Randy’s going to do to Hunter once he’s got him alone. The threats are at least interesting; otherwise Hunter couldn’t be more bored. _  
_

Once his tirade starts verging on talking about _Stephanie,_  though, it’s time to stop. Hunter can take a lot of abuse. He’s used to it. But he’ll be damned if he’s going to listen to someone talk shit about his wife.

He drops a heavy hand on Randy’s shoulder and says, “Randy. Son.”

Randy blinks like he’s coming out of a trance. “What?”

“Are you  _done?_  Because if you need to swear at me more you can, but honestly I’d rather we just go have dinner, Stephanie is waiting.”

“Yeah, I’m done, I’m done.” Randy shakes himself, lip curling. “I  _really_  hate that guy.”

“I know, Randy. I know.” Hunter squeezes Randy’s shoulder. “But Seth is very useful right now. So you’re just going to have to work with him.”

“ _Fuck_  you.”

“Randy…”

“Stopping. Stopping.” He pulls away from Hunter’s hand with a scowl.

“And keep a civil tongue in your head around my wife.”

“Yeah, sure.”


	7. Ashley Remington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luileisi asked: Autolatry; Ashley Remington. Basorexia; any Chikara ship.
> 
> Autolatry - The worship of one’s self

The girl in the bed is named Miranda, and she has curly reddish-brown hair and freckles all down her spine, and Ashley isn’t paying attention to her. He’s leaning over the little vanity, rapt in his own reflection as he combs his hair.

Miranda rolls over, giggles into the pillow, and says, “‘shley, c’m back to  _bed._ ”

“Of course, sweetheart. In a minute.” He fixes a miniscule ruffle in his mustache and smoothes back his eyebrows, then gives himself a dazzling smile, the one that makes even his opponents weak at the knees. He’s worked hard on that smile; he likes to think that his devilish good looks give him a bit of an edge over the competition. Well, that and his overwhelming physical prowess.

_Perfect._

He spins around a shoots the dazzling smile at Miranda, who giggles again, a blush creeping up her shoulders, and then grabs his captain’s hat from the nightstand and hides her face behind it teasingly.

Her eyes are a beautiful dark brown.

They’re perfect for looking at his reflection.


	8. Ultramantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hugenonhomomancrushes (Ms. Bears!) also asked for any Chikara ship (which is far too much power to give me) with
> 
> Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss
> 
> and it took a lot of effort for me to not make this very sad

Ultramantis Black wakes up and can’t move, because every square inch of his body below the chin is covered in pumpkin-headed men. He shifts and winces. “Why did I fall asleep in my coat?”

Hallowicked shifts irritably, looks up and sort of across him–he’s draped over most of Mantis’ chest, pinning his arms and shoulders–and says something garbled that translates roughly to, “You wouldn’t wake up long enough to let us get it off you.” (Granted, there are some nuances that the translation doesn’t quite get across, but that’s the gist of it.)

“Weren’t we watching a movie, though? How did I get into the bedroom?”

“<I carried you. Frightmare helped.>” Hallowicked gestures down to where Frightmare is asleep on top of Mantis’ legs. “<Then he fell asleep too.>”

“I have a cramp in my back, this seems like poor planning on my part. Not at all something I’d do.”

“<I wasn’t going to argue.  _You’re_  the Great and Devious One.>” Hallowicked cocks his head in amusement. “<I just work for you.>”

“That’s a fair point. Were you planning on getting off me any time soon?" Mantis doesn’t actually  _want_  to move, despite the cramp and the weight of two other men sleeping on top of him. It’s comfortable. Like being pinned, but instead of losing a match he wins at life.

”<Not really.>“ Hallowicked tilts his head up and kisses the side of Mantis’ face. ”<This is comfortable.>“ He settles himself more solidly. Frightmare rolls over and off Mantis’ left leg, snoring softly. ”<Besides, if I move then Frightmare will wake up.>“

With some difficulty, Mantis works his arms free of his coat and wraps them around Hallowicked. "Also fair.”


	9. Aiden English and Simon Gotch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> powerbombshell asked: Anything Vaudvillains. Legit anything. I am in dire need of anything. Actually, how about 'years down the road still together Vaudevillains talking about the time Aiden saved Simon and that's when he really knew Aiden cared' or SOME CHEESY BULLSHIT ugh they've dropkicke dmy heart
> 
> sweetie are you ok
> 
> (anyway! I meant to write a Vaudevillains thing ages ago and I’m such a fucking space case. So that initial thought there didn’t grab me as such but I’ve got something I think you’ll like regardless.)
> 
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy

You wouldn’t think that eggnog would be the ideal choice for an after-show drink. It’s very…heavy. But apparently that’s what Enzo’s in the mood for, he has a whole  _gallon_  of milk on hand and offered to make it for everyone. Nobody’s sure where the other ingredients came from–except the bourbon, that was in Corbin’s locker on top of a stack of Anne Rice novels–but now they’re having an impromptu NXT Christmas party with the unspoken agreement that  _just for the night_  nobody’s getting hit in the face.

They were all a little dubious of Enzo’s actual  _ability_  to make eggnog, but it turned out well. Although  _very_  strong.

Aiden is  _not drunk._  Certainly not. The entire prospect is absurd. He is simply filled with a warm glow and feeling kindly toward the world, which is why he is standing on a table reciting Shakespeare to a crowd of his coworkers, who are mostly ignoring him. Tyler pays attention the longest, but apparently only to see if Aiden is going to start comparing him to a summer’s day.

Simon is sitting on a bench off to one side of the party, looking mildly puzzled and amused as he mends a hole in his ring gear. One of the hastily-arranged sprigs of mistletoe is dangling over his head, apparently unnoticed. Or maybe he’s noticed it, but it didn’t register as anything important–he doesn’t, after all, celebrate Christmas.

Finally, frustrated by the lack of attention being paid, Aiden steps down from the table, gets another cup of the  _excellent_  eggnog, and sits down on the bench next to Simon. “Should I be…wishing you a happy Hannukah?”

Simon shrugs, smiling down at his mending. “If you like. Chanukah is a minor holiday.”

“I would offer you some eggnog, but I don’t know if it’s kosher.”

Simon frowns, clearly trying to figure this out himself, and then suddenly grabs Aiden and pulls him to the side. A plastic cup goes whistling through the space that Aiden’s head had been occupying a moment before. Clearly, the fragile peace of the NXT holiday festivities is at an end.

Aiden grins sunnily up at him, feeling pleasantly warm and not at all interested in involving himself in the fight. “Chivalry!” He gestures dramatically and topples into Simon’s lap, almost falling off the bench completely.

Simon beams down at him. “Chivalry!”

From across the flying cloud of arms and legs that the room’s become Enzo bellows, “Christ, will you two just  _kiss_  already, you’re takin’ up valuable mistletoe!” and then lets out a yelp when Carmella swats him on the ear. “What? We all know they want to.”


	10. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wolfbad asked: seth/dean Druxy
> 
> Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside

The hotel room is dark, and Roman is asleep in an armchair with the light still on, an unfinished beer at his elbow, and a book on his lap. The original thought was probably something along the lines of “just close my eyes for a minute,” but that clearly wasn’t the outcome.

Because he’s asleep–as opposed to just ignoring them, or for that matter participating–Seth and Dean are uncharacteristically quiet when they fuck, and the silence breeds sweetness. Dean is slurring crooked endearments in Seth’s ear as he pins the other man to the bed, the sideways kindnesses of a man who is more accustomed to cruelty dripping from his mouth like honey. Seth responds in kind. It’s loving, inasmuch as they are ever loving with one another.

When they’re done and both their backs are scored with nail marks and their mouths have run dry of sweetness they part, and then come back together for sleep. Dean curls himself in his customary tight ball, wrapped around one of Seth’s arms with his hair falling in his eyes. Seth, on the other hand, stretches luxuriously, reduced by afterglow to a pleasantly boneless heap.

His phone buzzes. Text message.

Dean yawns, and the yawn transitions to, “Seth, b'by, t'rn off th’ phone.”

“Sure.” Seth picks up the phone and flicks the message open.

All it says is, [Time.]

With his thumb he types back, [Understood.]

And then he turns off his phone and lays it face down on the nightstand.

At the little click of phone on wood Dean murmurs, “Thnks. Night.”

“Good night, Dean.”


	11. Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, and Seth Rollins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tedtheodorelogan asked: daddys little champion (and stephhh): cagamosis
> 
> Cagamosis - An unhappy marriage

Stephanie and Hunter have found, over the years, that the trick to maintaining a good relationship when they lead such busy lives is…space. Entertainments apart from each other, so that being apart isn’t so frustrating and being  _together_ stays fun. So Steph has Nikki, and they both sort of share Seth, and Hunter has…

Well, Hunter has NXT. Which affords him a wide  _variety_  of private entertainments.

Which are sometimes interrupted at inopportune times by his phone ringing.

He grabs his cell phone off the desk, answers the call without checking the ID, and says, “Hello?”

And, “Hi, Steph.” He covers the microphone for a moment as the man in his lap stifles laughter. “Sami, keep it  _down_.”

Sami very slowly raises his eyebrows, looking as innocent as possible, and makes no noise.

“Yes, I am listening to you—of course I’ll be back by then.” He pauses to listen. “Just a couple more days. Finishing up some business here.”

“You should let me talk to her.”

“ _Hush._  What? Yes, of course, obviously.”

The weight in his lap shifts as Sami reaches down between them and unzips Hunter’s fly.

“I—” Sami slides his hand into Hunter’s pants. “Look, Steph, I’ll call you later, I’m in the middle of something important here. Tell the girls I love them.”

As soon as his phone’s down, he grabs Sami’s chin in one hand and forces Sami to meet his eyes. “Just because you’re the NXT Champion now doesn’t mean I’m going to tolerate you not listening to me.”

Sami grins obnoxiously. “Just trying to be helpful.”

Hunter scowls, drags his thumb across Sami’s lower lip, presses it into his mouth. “We’re going to need to talk about your attitude.”

Sami just looks pleased by the prospect.

Which Hunter was, of course, expecting.


	12. Hideo Itami and Finn Balor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: hideo/finn - Mamihlapinatapei
> 
> Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move

When they’re talking privately, they don’t speak English. Japanese is easier, it’s quicker, it’s simpler. Finn needs to think out what he says, even though he’s spoken Japanese for years, and thus he never says anything that he’ll regret. Hideo, similarly, can speak rapidly, and thus run right by anything that might cause awkwardness.

At practice, when they’re wrestling, they don’t say anything at all.

It’s better like that. The body can speak louder than the mouth, but on the whole it’s easier to ignore a physical sign of interest than a slip of the tongue.

So they bounce off the ropes at each other, and they roll across the ring, and where others would mutter and correct and talk about potential spots they don’t speak at all.

Hideo’s shoulders hit the mat.

Reversal.

Finn’s down.

No reversal.

And a long moment that anyone watching would say is just them taking a moment to catch their breath, but their gazes are locked, and they still don’t speak at all.


	13. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Cassamore: Malapert
> 
> Malapert - Clever in manners of speech

It’s not that Enzo’s not  _smart,_  Cass thinks. It’s just that he doesn’t know when to shut  _up._  Like, basically the only ways to get him to stop talking are to hit him–which Cass isn’t going to do, no way–or to stick something in his mouth. Which is why most of the time when he’s being  _really_  obnoxious he’s doing it on purpose.

Like now. Because this whole situation, the one they’re in right now, started because Enzo just  _would not stop talking,_  he was going on about stuff on TV and talking about what they’re gonna do to win the tag belts and singing Nicki Minaj songs and Cass is a patient guy but even he has limits. So he stuck his tongue in Enzo’s mouth, because it was really the only thing on hand besides his phone.

And now they’re in what you might call a compromising position in the nearest utility closet and Carmella is  _definitely_  looking for them. Cass can tell, because she’s standing right outside the closet door, and he can hear her tapping one heeled shoe on the floor as she says, “Cass? ‘Zo? Where the hell  _are_  you, we’re s'posed to be practicing.”

Enzo snickers with Cass’ cock in his mouth, and Cass has to bite his own hand to keep from giving them both away.

Trust his big mouth to get them both in trouble.


	14. Jimmy Jacobs and Deucalion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wolfbad asked: Jimmy/Deucalion - Dystopia
> 
> Dystopia - Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell

Jimmy dreams that Chikara has lost the war.

He knows it’s untrue, he’s lucid enough to know that outside of the world of his dream he is asleep in a chair in the corner of an actual bedroom while Icarus snores exhausted in the bed nearby. He knows that Deucalion is defeated and has fled.

But he dreams of a new rise. He dreams hands on the chain around his throat and a cheery murmur of, “You thought you could flee.” He dreams broken bodies and the bowed heads of the defeated and fingers on his skin, the voice in his ear saying, “Were you good while I was away?”

More than anything he’s afraid of Snow Troll somehow passing on to the others what he saw. They treated him like a pet.  _Jimmy_  treated him like a pet. Pets can be ignored during…private business, they won't  _talk_  about it.

Jimmy dreams that Deucalion is back, and fears in his dream that Snow Troll will tell people how much Jimmy enjoyed himself.


	15. Seth Rollins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Seth/anyone Autolatry
> 
> Autolatry - The worship of one’s self

Seth’s just rebleached his roots and he keeps looking at himself in the mirror, combing his hair back and then brushing it forward to see which look he likes better.

Roman grins at him, hugs him one-armed and sneezes at the lingering smell of bleach. “And you guys talk like  _I’m_  the vain one.”

* * *

 

Dean twitches irritably and Seth says, “Hold still,” and keeps combing his hair back. “You gotta make the Shield look  _good,_  man, we’re professionals.”

“I look fine, leggo.” Dean makes a suppressed snorting noise. “Surprised you can stop checking yourself out long enough to take a care'a me.”

* * *

 

Hunter’s hand is heavy on his shoulder. “What do you think?”

Seth doesn’t answer at first. He’s too busy running his hands over the smooth leather, straightening out imaginary wrinkles, shifting his feet in the new boots, until finally he says, “I think it looks  _good._ ”

* * *

 

“Are you even  _listening_  to me?” Kane is scowling.

Seth blinks and lowers his comb. “No, not really. I was thinking about something else.”


	16. Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: how about sami/adrian, Gargalesthesia (for the prompts)?
> 
> Gargalesthesia - The sensation caused by tickling

“Someday, mate, I’m going to make you shave.”

“No, you won’t.” Sami hugs him more tightly, nuzzling Adrian’s ribs in a way that makes the other man writh. “The beard is part of my charm.”

“Bloody ginger twerp.”

“It’s nice to know that you care.”

“I hate you.”

“Next match we have I’m going to pin you and rub my beard all over you so the whole crowd can see how ticklish you are.”

“Well, then I’ll–” Adrian stops. “I s'pose there isn’t much I can do to you along those lines that wouldn’t get us both disqualified. Maybe I could tie you to the turnbuckle with your own championship belt and put my tongue in your–” and he’s cut off when Sami starts nuzzling again and he has to choke down laughter.

“That’d definitely get us dq'ed.” Sami grins against Adrian’s chest. “Although it might be worth it.”


	17. Brad Maddox and Roman Reigns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Gymnophoria brad/roman pretty pls <333
> 
> Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you

Roman heads backstage after the match with Dean and Seth trailing behind him, grabbing a towel on the way so he can get some of the sweat out of his eyes. Dean is vibrating with energy, Seth is grinning; when it’s finally unlikely that they’ll run into anyone heading  _out_  to the ring they step to the side to talk.

Mid-sentence, the hair on the back of Roman’s neck stands up, and he feels…naked.

He glances around. Nobody else there. Except Brad Maddox, who’s keeping his distance from them, seemingly absorbed in some kind of report and not looking up.

Shrugging, he returns to the conversation.

A few minutes, and…the naked feeling returns.

This time he  _catches_  Brad just as the smaller man’s lowering his eyes. “You got a  _problem?_ ”

“What? No. Of course not.” Brad looks away. “Just…just going over these stats.”

“Keep doing that.”

The third time he starts feeling naked, he almost turns around again, but Seth puts a hand on his forearm, leans forward, and says, softly, “He’ll just try to pretend he wasn’t looking again.”

Roman scowls. “I got something on my  _vest_  or something?” _  
_

“Yeah, no, he’s been staring at your ass for five minutes straight.” Dean looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “Can’t say he’s got bad taste.”


	18. Jimmy Jacobs and Snow Troll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Snow Troll/Jimmy Jacobs, Lalochezia and/or Basorexia
> 
> Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain
> 
> Trigger warning for verbal abuse

“Worthless, useless, sniveling little…”

Snow Troll sits on the floor, and because he’s masked the only sign that he’s worried is the soft jingling of the chain. He’s trembling, and for some reason that just makes Jimmy angry.

Most things make Jimmy angry lately, because the alternative seems to be terror, and so he yells at Snow Troll, because Snow Troll doesn’t talk back. Just sits there and watches him.

“You’re a  _coward._ ” Jimmy cocks his foot back, waiting for Snow Troll to flinch, and is upset and angry when he doesn’t. “Aren’t you going to try to run away?”

Snow Troll shrugs.

Jimmy grimaces and shudders and then abruptly sits down on the floor next to Snow Troll, hanging his head between his knees. “Everything’s going to shit.”

Snow Troll pats him on the shoulder and says, solemnly, “Woof.”


	19. Dean Ambrose and Brad Maddox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shamecar asked: Dean shoving brad up against a wall and getting in his face about roman like "what the HELL do you think you're playing at, you fuckin creep?" And when brad just stammers in response, dean grabs his hair and wrenches his head back and growls at Brad to answer him

A voice behind him says, “Roman said he  _lost_  that sweatshirt.”

Brad starts, turns around—and Dean Ambrose promptly backs him into a corner.

“Don’t even  _try_  to tell me it isn’t his.  _I_  put  _that_  rip in it,” indicating a sloppily-mended tear in one sleeve. He starts to say something else, stops, frowns, and then leans in  _way_  too close and  _sniffs._  “You even  _smell_  like his  _shampoo._  Which raises a very important question.”

Brad laughs nervously. “Dean, I, uh, there’s a perfectly good—”

"Why,” Dean says, very calmly and levelly, “are you fucking  _stalking_  him? Is it just because you’re a little creep? Because I could buy that. But I’m pretty sure there’s  _another_  explanation, and I’m giving you  _one_  chance to admit it before I tear you apart and bring Roman a genuine stalker hand as a present.”

Brad tries to say something, but it all pretty much comes out as nervous babbling. The only thing that he manages coherently is “ _perfectly_  reasonable explanation.”

Dean shoves him into the wall, grabs his hair—“Ow, ow, ow”—and says, in a tone that could be a growl if it decided to put in the effort, “Tell me how long you’ve been spying on us or I’ll send you back to your owners in pieces.”

"I, uh, I mean, well, there’s—”

“Answer. Me.” And  _there’s_  the growl.

Brad reaches up nervously and tugs at his collar, which doesn’t actually help with anything, since he’s breathing fine, but it sort of makes him feel better anyway.

Dean’s eyes flick briefly to his hands, as if he’s expecting Brad to  _attack_  him or something, and then—

“That,” Dean says levelly, “is a hickey. On your collarbone.”

“ _Is_  it?” Brad’s voice squeaks. “I mean. Yes. It is.”

Dean abruptly lets go of his hair. “I gotta admit, that’s an option I  _hadn’t_ considered. Did Roman give you that?”

Brad swallows hard.

“Look, just nod or shake your head or something, I don’t fucking bite.”

Brad nods furiously, and then says,  ”Most of the, uh, evidence sort of points in the other direction on that one. The. Uh. You biting thing.  _Didn’t_  you bite someone once?”

Dean ignores that. “Would’ve expected Roman to share that shit with the  _class._ ”

“Look, if you’re not going to kill me, I have  _work_  I should be doing. You know? A job?”

"Hm.” Dean is looking thoughtful now. “Is this hickey situation the kind where Roman’s got your phone number?”

“He, uh—yes.”

“Then fuck off, go do whatever it is you do, I gotta go have a talk with my boys.”


	20. Hideo Itami and Finn Balor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: finn/hideo - sciamachy
> 
> Sciamachy—a mock or futile combat, literally “to fight with a shadow”
> 
> Dialogue in brackets is spoken in Japanese

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a new word meme! This one I wrote myself; the words are as follows:
> 
> Sanguine—of or relating to blood, including its color; also, cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident  
> Famulus—a sorcerer’s or scholar’s apprentice  
> Syzygy—an alignment of celestial bodies  
> Toska—a dull ache of the soul, a sick pining, a spiritual anguish  
> Unheimlich—uncanny, mysterious, arousing superstitious fear or dread, uncomfortably strange  
> Kintsukuroi—(Japanese) to repair pottery with gold, with the understanding that the piece is made more beautiful by having been broken  
> Internuncio—a go-between or messenger  
> Librocubicularist—someone who reads in bed  
> Chthonic—of or pertaining to the Underworld, or otherwise primal, mysterious, or infernal  
> Sciamachy—a mock or futile combat, literally “to fight with a shadow”  
> Ludus—love played as a game  
> Moiety—one of two equal parts  
> Recondite—not easily understood, perplexing, complicated  
> Gigil—the irresistable urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute and adorable  
> Backpfeifengesicht—(German) literally, “a face that needs a fist in it,” a person who needs to get smacked  
> Divagation—wandering or going astray, or digressing in speech  
> Nyctophilia—finding relaxation or comfort in darkness  
> Spaghettification—a term in astronomy, describing the phenomenon by which something falling into a black hole is stretched into a long, thin tube  
> Leertretung—(German) stepping down heavily on a stair that isn’t there  
> Mangata—(Swedish) the roadlike reflection of the moon on the water  
> Adamantine—inflexible and unyielding; so hard as to be impenetrable  
> Amaranthine—eternally beautiful and unfading  
> Tenebrous—dark, gloomy, shadowed  
> Brouhaha—an uproar  
> Nepenthe—a drug or potion that makes one forget one’s sorrows and misfortunes

There’s a game they play to practice, a mirror game, where one of them is the  _shadow,_  and the only rule is that the shadow can only mirror the moves the other one uses and then improve. No improvisation except on the original theme. You fight yourself, but better.

Finn is the fighter, and Hideo is shadowing, and Finn makes the terrible mistake of trying to kick him. Not that he doesn’t throw a solid kick, but Hideo is better even  _apart_  from the shadow game, and he dodges and throws a kick of his own with a little bit of spin on it and knocks Finn flat on his back.

“<That was stupid,>” Hideo says from where he’s now kneeling on Finn’s shoulders. “<You can do better.>”

Finn grins at him. “<Go ahead and bash my fucking skull in, why don’t you.>”

“<You’d just enjoy that, what would be the point?>” Hideo grins back, not moving his weight off Finn’s shoulders. “<My neck hurts,>” with a roll and a crackle to prove the statement.

“ _His_  neck hurts, he says,” Finn shouts across the gym to Carmella, who blinks, apparently startled at being addressed, and then starts laughing. “What about me?”

She flips him off genially. “You take what you get.”

“S'pose that’s fair.”

Hideo shifts, digging a knee into Finn’s shoulder. “<Are you done flirting?>”

A twist, and a  _roll,_  and Finn knocks Hideo over and pounces on him. “<Well, I was done flirting with  _her._ >”

“<If you want to flirt with  _me_  you should stop letting me knock you down or I’ll start thinking you don’t mean it.>”

“<We could go somewhere else, play a different game.>” Finn feints to one side and dives. “<How about you take the lead, and I follow.>”


	21. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Dean/Seth - Divagation
> 
> Divagation—wandering or going astray, or digressing in speech
> 
> I indulged myself a little here, this one gets silly.

Seth stares,  _feeling_  his eyes go glassy as Dean rambles, until finally he’s had enough and he says, “Dean, what are you even  _talking_  about?”

“Vampires,” Dean says matter-of-factly. “You know, the kind that drink blood.”

From the kitchenette in the suite there’s the quiet rumble of Roman pausing mid-scrambled-egg-making to say, “Oh my god, is he talking about vampires again?”

“I don’t know  _what_  he’s talking about.”

“You ever meet Edge? Or Christian?” Dean’s been pacing back and forth, but now he sits down–in the armchair Seth’s claimed,  _on_  Seth, draping himself over Seth’s lap with his knees over one armrest and flopping his head back against Seth’s shoulder so his face is very close to the side of Seth’s neck. “They’re vampires. Or at least they used to say they were. Don’t know if it’s true. Edge has the teeth for it. Bet  _you’d_  make a good vampire.”

Seth snorts. “Do you even  _listen_  to yourself?” _  
_

“What, _don’t_  you wanna climb into my bed at night and bite my neck?”

“Dean, I do that anyway.”

“Maybe go for a little bit of the old getting-staked-repeatedly…”

Another rumble. “If you guys are fucking when I come in there I’m eating all the eggs myself.”


	22. Deucalion and Jimmy Jacobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wolfbad asked: Jimmy Jacobs/Deucalion Kintsukuroi
> 
> Kintsukuroi—(Japanese) to repair pottery with gold, with the understanding that the piece is made more beautiful by having been broken

The bed isn’t a bed, precisely, so much as it is a pile of three mattresses on the floor of an easily secured room in the disused Titor building that Deucalion has decided is their headquarters for the night. Real bed or not, however, Jimmy Jacobs is asleep with his blankets drawn tight around himself, and Deucalion is concerned that he may be broken.

Deucalion himself has not been entirely human for a very long time, and it’s easy for him to forget how ludicrously fragile humans can be. So easily frightened, so simple to anger, the work of seconds to lift them and snap their bodies like twigs…it seems absurd that he was ever like them at all. His herald has proven…resilient…thus far, but now he shivers as he sleeps despite his covering.

He could be examined. Explored further. He is a decent specimen of humanity, a worthy subject on which to test the limits of the human body.

Deucalion runs a finger down Jimmy’s spine–how frail it seems!–and considers shattering him entirely, just for the pleasure of rebuilding him into someone more…tractable.


	23. Snow Troll and Jimmy Jacobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Snow Troll/Jimmy Jacobs; Backpfeifengesicht
> 
> Backpfeifengesicht—(German) literally, “a face that needs a fist in it,” a person who needs to get smacked

After Deucalion is defeated, everyone tries to go out of their way to keep Snow Troll away from Jimmy Jacobs. It’s honestly for Snow Troll’s benefit; Icarus and the others all figure that he’s dealt with enough already.

What Icarus  _isn’t_  expecting, when the system finally breaks down and Snow Troll and Jimmy run into each other, is for Snow Troll to stare at Jimmy for a moment and then punch him square in the face.

“Holy  _shit,_  Snow Troll.”

Jimmy stumbles back, blood streaming down from his nose. “I. Um. I deserved that.”

Snow Troll nods solemnly, wiping the blood off his knuckles. He hasn’t started talking again, and nobody’s pushing. He’ll start when he’s ready.

Once his hand is clean, he looks at Jimmy, seeming thoughtful, moves towards him–

Jimmy shifts away nervously, ready to get punched again–

–and gives him a hug.

Jimmy blinks, looking confused and uncomfortable. “Icarus. What’s happening.”

Icarus shrugs. “Ask him. I don’t know what he’s thinking.”


	24. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tedtheodorelogan asked: cassamore+gigil!!
> 
> Gigil—the irresistable urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute and adorable

“Goddammit, Cass, are you  _drunk?_ ” Enzo flails desperately. “Leggo ‘a me.”

“Might be drunk. Just a little.” Cass crosses his ankles in front of Enzo, leans his cheek on the top of Enzo’s head, and steadfastly refuses to let go. “You’re just so  _cute,_  though.”

Enzo sputters. “Cute?  _Cute?_  I’m not  _cute._   _Kittens_  are cute. Fluffy bunnies are cute. Bayley is cute.  _Carmella_  is cute—” _  
_

"You better not let her hear you say that.”

“I am not  _cute!_ ”

"Your hair’s fluffy.”

“ _I_  am a  _certified G!_ ” _  
_

“And you smell good.”

“And a  _bonafide stud!_ ”

"And you make little happy noises when you have an orgasm.”

“I do  _not._ ”

"It’s  _cute._ ”

"Shut up.” Enzo rests his chin on Cass’ folded arms, scowling. “I’m not cute.”

“You’re cute.”


	25. Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: sami/adrian, librocubicularist (you make me so happy every time!)
> 
> Librocubicularist—someone who reads in bed

“Put the book away.”

Adrian blinks. “Eh?”

“Put the book away. Pleeeease. Trying to sleep.” Sami groans and sticks his face in Adrian’s armpit, making Adrian shift away ticklishly.

“I’m almost at a  _good_  part, though.” Adrian gestures with his book, trying desperately to keep from being tickled by Sami’s beard.

“Don’t care. I’m tired. Light’s too bright.”

“Then turn the other way, Sami, I’m almost done.”

“No,” Sami mutters petulantly into his ribs. “I’m the champion now and I say it’s time for bed.”

“ _You_  kept  _me_  up last night reading.”

“That was different. We had sex after.”

“Not putting the book away.”

“I’ll call Hunter, he’ll tell you that you have to let me sleep.” Sami grins obnoxiously into Adrian’s side. “Champion. Need my sleep. Very important.”

Adrian snorts, holding back laughter, and puts his book to the side. “You are  _awful._ ”


	26. Chuck Taylor and Ashley Remington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luileisi asked: Chuck/Ashley Mangata
> 
> Mangata—(Swedish) the roadlike reflection of the moon on the water

Chuck, being a Kentucky boy at heart, prefers to swim in ponds and lakes where there’s a good chance of running into an unexpected snake, but he’ll take whatever opportunities he can get. Especially at night. The best kind of swimming is the kind you do at night. No noise, no gawkers. Decent chance of getting laid, because what kind of dumbass goes night swimming without a hot friend? And even though the yacht is out a ways on the ocean, where the water is always moving, the moon’s reflection smooths it in a way that makes him itch to dive in and fuck it up.

He strips off right on deck and dives off the side of the yacht into the water.

And  _yowls._

A few minutes later, he’s back on deck, wrapped in five towels  _and_  Ashley’s bathrobe and shivering hard enough to fall apart, while Ashley says, genially, “That wasn’t too smart.”

“That’s fucking  _cold!_ ”

“The Atlantic generally is.”

“Fuck you, don’t act like you’re smarter than me.”

Ashley blinks, looking genuinely surprised. “That wasn’t my intent. You should get into the cabin and warm up, have a bourbon.”

Chuck mutters, irritably, “You’re just trying to butter me up so I’ll suck your dick later.” His teeth are chattering. He  _really_  wants some liquor.

Ashley shrugs. “I could suck yours, you don’t know.  _Que sera sera._ ”

“Don’t speak French at me, dammit.” Chuck follows him inside. “You know I can’t fucking deal with it when you start speaking French.”


	27. Bayley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: bayley - Internuncio
> 
> Internuncio—a go-between or messenger

“Heyyyy, Carmella, Enzo says he’s really sorry about spilling milk on your nice top and will you please start talking to him again.”

“Hi, Tyler! Charlotte gave me this to give to you, she says she found it backstage the other day and figured it was yours.”

“Hi, Big E! Is Xavier with you? Only I’ve got that comic of his, the one Corbin was borrowing, but Corbin had to go do…something, I dunno what, and he gave it to me to give to you to give to him.”

Sometimes being the only person who’s on speaking terms with almost everyone is  _exhausting._  Bayley almost– _almost_ –gets annoyed sometimes. She’s got her own stuff to do. She needs Bayley time. But it’s great having all these  _friends_  here, NXT is the best place  _ever,_  and honestly she doesn’t mind the messages and everything, because you know what, she’s better at being friendly than almost everyone else here.

And then little presents show up and it starts getting super confusing.

First she gets a box of chocolates, and she thinks they’re from Cass because she just gave Alexa something for him, but it turns out that they’re from Nattie for something she did three weeks ago. Then when she loses her hairbrush a new one just…turns up with her stuff, and that seems like Tyler’s style, but then it’s not from him, it’s from Hideo. And then Cass  _does_  send her something, he sends her a  _really cute headband,_  but it shows up at the same time as something from _Stephanie McMahon_  of all people, and Bayley doesn’t even remember  _what_  she might have done for her.

She’s not entirely sure how she’s gotten to a point in her life where she gets presents from people just for being in a good mood all the time, but she’s not going to argue.


	28. Ultramantis Black and Hallowicked and Frightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luileisi asked: Also Spectral Envoy Nyctophilia bc im a greedy lil fuck
> 
> Nyctophilia—finding relaxation or comfort in darkness

Night is the safest time, the darkness is the safest place. In darkness Ultramantis Black can relax, because great and devious or not, even he needs a break from leading and public speaking and destroying evildoers, all of which take a lot of energy.

Hallowicked and Frightmare also like the dark, because it allows them to be…more themselves.

Relaxation for Hallowicked means that he is allowed to be monstrous, that his carefully-hidden restraint can be loosened. Like now, with his grip like iron around Ultramantis’ chest and stomach, his words even more incomprehensible as he thrusts, Mantis bracketed between his legs and breathtaken as Wicked fucks him.

Relaxation for  _Frightmare_  is being  _inhuman,_  slipping halfway out of the form he wears. He is recognizable, but his black and orange blend into one another and his fingers stretch like tendrils over Mantis’ shoulders and his lower body is a shadow, a cloud, something that is not human but which feels  _unbelievably_  good, a heart-stopping warmth and wetness and grip on Mantis’ cock. He presses his face to Mantis’ neck, and briefly Mantis feels a prickle like sharp teeth which is rapidly gone as Frightmare destabilizes.

Mantis is half-blind in the darkness of their bedroom, the other two growling things in his ears that he can’t understand, and all he can manage is the desperate gasp of, “Sweet mother of mystery.”

Frightmare and Hallowicked both start to laugh, and it shakes him deliciously.

The darkness is the only place where he can allow himself to be mastered.


	29. Bray Wyatt and Bo Dallas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Bray + Bo; Sanguine
> 
> Sanguine—of or relating to blood, including its color; also, cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident

“I gotta tell Luke to stop lettin’ you in, little brother.” Bray’s rocking chair is gone, but he still rocks, a gentle sway forward and back in a dusty armchair that somehow looks like it’s always been there. “One ‘a these days I swear he’s gonna let you in and you’ll never go away again.”

Bo grins sunnily up at him from his seat on the floor. “He’ll always let me in! I’m your brother.”

“You’re my blood, that’s true.”

“Blood is thicker than water.”

“Blood of the  _covenant,_  Bo.” Bray rocks and rocks. “You’re forgettin’ the rest of the line. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, is what they always used to say. We got a covenant, Bo? Are you my friend, or are you just my brother?”

“I’m everybody’s friend.” There are faded red curtains on the windows, and they reflect in Bo’s shining eyes to make him look sinister, casting a dried-blood taint over his open smile. “Especially yours.”

Bray stares at him intently for a moment and then bursts out with his wheezy laugh. “That you are, little brother. That you are. We got a covenant  _and_  blood to back it.”

“It seems awfully quiet here since Erick left. Have you had any luck with Dean?” Bo sounds so  _heartbreakingly_  earnest with the red light shading his face. “I know you just want what’s best for him.”

“Maybe I should have you talk to him, little brother. You’ve got a better disposition for it than I do. Sanguine, that’s the word. He’s too yellow to listen to me, too full of choler and bile.” Bray stretches out his hand and lays it on the top of his brother’s head like a benediction, and Bo leans into the touch with a cheery sigh. “But maybe he’ll listen to you. You’re a regular ray of sunshine.”


	30. Adrian Neville and Dean Ambrose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> atimeforghosts asked: Backpfeifengesicht - Adrian/Dean (hope the pairing isn't too weird, i really like your writing!)
> 
> Backpfeifengesicht—(German) literally, “a face that needs a fist in it,” a person who needs to get smacked

The audience is much bigger than Adrian has become accustomed to, and so is the venue, and it is exhilarating. In any ring he’s capable of flight, but here, he almost feels as if he could soar supported only by the gaze of so many pairs of eyes. His match is early in the night, too, and he makes a good show of it, and afterward he tucks himself into a corner near the craft services table and watches the rest of the show on one of the monitors.

Dean Ambrose is pinballing crazily around the ring, and Adrian watches it, and enjoys it, and wants to punch him in the mouth  _himself_  just to watch him go spinning like that. Dean’s not a flyer at all, he’s…grounded. Not  _personally,_  mind you, not a grounded  _person,_  but he  _uses_  the ground, he doesn’t try to escape from it.

Adrian thinks about that well through the match and past its end, staring blindly up at the monitor and eating crackers and wondering how someone could be so content with the earth, until someone says, “You staring for a  _reason?_ ”

Oh, right. Match long over. Adrian’s often wondered what Dean does to pass the time when he’s waiting to pop out and attack people in the ring, and apparently it’s mostly lurk about at craft services. So he’s not seeing the other man’s face on the monitor again, he’s just sort of right there.

“Not really.” Adrian shrugs. “Just staring. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Eh.” Dean eats a grape and stares at him suspiciously.

Five seconds later Adrian succumbs to temptation and punches him in the face.

He rag-dolls across the room very satisfyingly and comes up snarling.

It’s a lovely fight.


	31. Ultramantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> k3rrysh4wcr0ss asked: Librocubicularist, toska, and nictophilia all for Envoy please thank you friend if it's okay to ask these now for a future date
> 
> Hello friend yes it is! It’s meme day! Happy meme day!
> 
> Nyctophilia—finding relaxation or comfort in darkness

“<Turn out the light.>”

They’re on Mantis before his eyes can adjust, and he’s tackled backwards onto the bed. First Hallowicked on top of him, holding him down for a moment with a kiss like a bite before he rolls away and it’s Frightmare, who relaxes into the lightlessness of the bedroom with a shiver of what feels like many creeping fingers. Frightmare is  _always_  like this, all hands, unable to stay still, desperate to touch and taste and feel, and it only gets worse in the dark.

As soon as Ultramantis gets his balance back, though, he rolls upwards into Frightmare and grabs him, murmurs to him low, “It’s not your turn.”

“<He got overexcited.>”

“Well, it’s not his turn, and I’m at a distinct disadvantage here.  _You_  can both  _see_ in the dark, it takes time for me to adjust.”

Frightmare gabbles something high-speed, of which the only thing Mantis can make out is, “<taste, want a taste,>” and then Hallowicked has to suppress laughter. “<He’s saying he wants to—>”

"I figured it out, thank you. Can you at least wait until I have my pants off?” to Frightmare, or at least in his general direction. “Patience is a cardinal virtue.”

A confused silence from Frightmare until Hallowicked translates the last part, and then even  _faster_  gabbling. “<He says he hates being patient and that he should be in charge right now because it’s dark.>”

“But I  _like_  these pants.”

Frightmare lets out a frustrated sigh and manages a semi-comprehensible, “<Ok, ok, I’ll  _wait._ >”


	32. Ultramantis Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Spectral Envoy fic for @k3rrysh4wcr0ss!
> 
> Toska—a dull ache of the soul, a sick pining, a spiritual anguish
> 
> Librocubicularist—someone who reads in bed

It’s too quiet.

That’s what Ultramantis Black will  _tell_  you, if you ask him what he misses most about his comrades. It’s too quiet.

It’s a simplification.

He eats dinner alone. Goes to bed alone, with a book–he’s reading  _King Lear,_  it seems appropriate somehow.

The light is on next to him, and there’s no irritable voice to mutter in his ear, “<Turn out the light.>”

He reads.

The bed’s too big, it’s vast. No Hallowicked beside him, out like a light. No Frightmare wriggling around, unable to get comfortable or stay still. He is alone in the bed, and it makes his chest hurt.

No one is making fun of him for staying up too late reading.

Too quiet. That’s what it means. It’s too quiet.


	33. Snow Troll and Icarus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> k3rrysh4wcr0ss asked: Divagation for Snow Troll/Icarus and Tenebrous for Duecalion/Snow Troll (plot twist amirite)
> 
> Dang, that second one is kind of a twist. But first.
> 
> Divagation—wandering or going astray, or digressing in speech

Snow Troll starts talking again very suddenly, late at night. Not about anything in  _particular,_  just…television. He sits up in his pile of blankets in the corner of the room and starts telling Icarus about a TV show he saw earlier that day. Icarus is confused and sleepy and a little annoyed, but it’s the first time Snow Troll’s said  _anything_  since being free.

He talks for about fifteen minutes about  _nothing_ , and then stops and goes back to sleep as if nothing happened. Icarus stares at him, still staring in half-conscious confusion, and then goes back to sleep himself.

* * *

 

Two days later, Icarus goes to get food, and Snow Troll trails along after him, and out of habit Icarus asks him what he wants to drink, even though Snow Troll never answers.

Snow Troll says, almost inaudibly, “Cherry Coke.”

“What?”

Snow Troll doesn’t answer.

Icarus gets him a cherry Coke.

When Snow Troll takes it he says, softly, “Thank you.”

Icarus blinks and says, “You’re welcome.”

* * *

 

It takes another week, and then in the middle of the day when Mark and Dasher are visiting and they’re all watching a baseball game the dam breaks.

“They treated me like dog. Everywhere, everywhere I followed them. They say, don’t speak, you know too many secrets, and it’s true. I know secrets. Snow Troll knows secrets.”

He doesn’t sound well, but he sounds better.

He talks for two solid hours, and Icarus doesn’t stop him.


	34. Deucalion and Snow Troll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the last request for the fine and lovely @k3rrysh4wcr0ss was Deucalion/Snow Troll
> 
> Tenebrous—dark, gloomy, shadowed

His height alone is enough to make him fearsome, when you are sitting on the floor, and Snow Troll is always sitting on the floor nowadays. And the dark eyes, and the shark smile.

It’s lunch time. Snow Troll has been given a sandwich, and he’s hunched over in the corner eating it when a shadow falls over him. He looks up, and Deucalion is crouching down to speak to him, and somehow this makes him more terrifying.

“You are always watching, dog of my dog. What do you see?”

Snow Troll swallows his mouthful of sandwich and says, nervously, “Woof.” Dogs don’t talk. Nobody cares enough about a dog to kill it.

Deucalion pats him heavily on the top of the head. It feels like a threat. “Keep your silence, dog. Keep your own counsel.”

Snow Troll nods slowly, feeling cold in Deucalion’s shadow.

“I should place you outside the door when I sleep and have you keep watch.” Deucalion grins. “Think of it. Me with a guard dog.”


	35. Aiden English and Simon Gotch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Amaranthine—eternally beautiful and unfading + The Vaudevillains. I feel as though it fits with Simon's time traveling abilities.
> 
> Amaranthine—eternally beautiful and unfading

Aiden stares at the photograph, smooths out its curling edges and handles its crackling paper gently, and tries to believe that it’s real.

In the picture Simon is grinning, as he often is. One arm is curled up to display his bicep, his hand in a fist; on his other raised hand sits a grown woman in a sparkly costume, a feathered cap resting on dark curls. She’s laughing. Her elbow rests on the top of his head.

The only sensible question is, “Who’s she?”

“My sister Zillah. She was a trapeze artist. A brilliant performer.” Simon takes the photograph from him. “A photographer for a newspaper took this picture, and gave me a copy.” He traces her smile very lightly with the tip of one finger. “She died shortly after. Scarlet fever. We had to burn her things.”

Aiden blinks and doesn’t know what to say. “Is that why you…”

“Yes. Although being able to rather took me by surprise.” Simon hands the photo back to him and looks up at the sun. “She would have liked it now.”


	36. Sami Zayn and Finn Balor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by heelmox, Sami/Finn - Cheiloproclitic :)
> 
> Cheiloproclitic - Being attracted to someone’s lips

Look, Sami’s got weaknesses. Everyone does, it’d be stupid to deny it. And one of his is mouths.

Like. For example. Adrian does that thing, when he’s thinking, where he wets his lips with his tongue and sucks his breath in through his teeth and it’s the most eyecrossingly sexual thing on the planet. Tyler is the sort of person you want to  _punch_  in the mouth, but the absurd fullness of his lips is also a constant temptation, Sami always wants desperately for him to shut up so they can go into some of the  _other_  things he might be able to do with it.

Now Finn Bálor, Sami hasn’t known Finn for very long, but he’s got his own thing. It’s not quite the basic  _shape_  of his mouth, it’s what he  _does_  with it. He always holds his lips slightly pursed, like he’s thinking, or about to ask a question. Or like he’s waiting to be kissed, or planning on kissing someone.

It’s  _intoxicating._

They’re just exchanging polite conversation in the locker room at the end of the night after a show when Sami finally gives in and takes him up on the invitation of those pursed lips, and Finn walks him backwards into a row of lockers and keeps him there while their mouths do a lot of wordless talking.


	37. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wolfbad asked: Seth/Dean - Ludus
> 
> Ludus—love played as a game

Dean sits back on his haunches, looking down at Seth, and says, “You know what I need, Seth? What I need  _right now?_ ”

The anticipation is delightful. Seth sucks in a breath. “What?”

And then the shit-eating grin makes his hair stand up, right before Dean says, “I think I could use a sandwich. Gotta keep my blood sugar up.”

“Dean, that’s not funny.”

“Why would it be? Health is no joke, Seth.” Dean hops off the bed, grinning.

“Dean.” Seth wriggles, but no luck–he’s still tied to the headboard of the bed, arms behind him. Still naked. Still hard. “Dean!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll bring you a sandwich too.” Dean wanders into the kitchen like they’ve just been having a normal conversation. Also still naked. Also still hard.

“Dean, for  _fuck’s sake,_ I will  _kill_  you.”


	38. Deucalion and Jimmy Jacobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Ducalion/Jimmy Jacobs; Spaghettification
> 
> Spaghettification—a term in astronomy, describing the phenomenon by which something falling into a black hole is stretched into a long, thin tube

Ice on the back of his neck. He shivers.

“Be still.” Pause. “And do not flinch.”

Jimmy is unraveling.

Like a cat, Deucalion is curious, and he likes to test things. Loyalty, focus, sanity. The limits of the human body. His intensity is attractive, and once you allow yourself to be attracted to it, you’re already in too deep. Once you’re his, he wants to test you.

Not figurative ice, either. Literal. Cold and damp at the nape of his neck, the top of his spine, before Deucalion grips it and draws an agonizingly slow line down his back.

Jimmy bites the side of his hand. “Why ice?”

Ice at the small of his back, and he can feel Deucalion’s hand hovering over him as if the man is wondering what to do next.

Deucalion says, sounding amused, “It was convenient. But if you  _prefer,_  Jimmy Jacobs, we can put away the ice for now and I will make a start on fire.”


	39. Brad Maddox, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Brad/The Shield - Kintsukuroi
> 
> Kintsukuroi—(Japanese) to repair pottery with gold, with the understanding that the piece is made more beautiful by having been broken
> 
> NSFW

They’ve gotten in his face before, they’ve  _attacked_  him before, the members of the Shield have  _definitely_  beaten Brad up before, but never before, never in any other encounter with them has he felt so  _wrecked._  He’s shaking almost hard enough to shatter.

Seth is behind him, arms around his waist, lips on the side of his neck, murmuring, “Come on, Brad. Let’s not keep him waiting.”

Brad swallows hard. Slides his hands down Roman’s thighs, and then makes the mistake of looking up just in time for Roman to raise an eyebrow at him and say, “So am I getting fucked or what? Because I’m not just going to stay here all night.”

The raised eyebrow and then the smoldering look almost make Brad want to faint, so he bites his lip and lets Seth guide him forward and gasps, because Roman is groaning with pleasure and everything is heat.

“Jesus,” Dean bites out, he’s sitting in a chair near the bed with his hand around his own cock and a camcorder at his eye—they’d talked about that earlier, Brad is weirdly ok with it. “That is…shit. Wow.”

Seth laughs against the back of Brad’s neck. “Next time we’re gonna tie you down and make you take  _all_  of us, Dean.” He’s waiting, he waits for a patient moment while Brad gets a good rhythm and then grabs his hips and slides into  _him_ , and Brad shudders. Seth grins. “I think our  _guest_  here would probably enjoy that.”

Roman pulls him in closer, curls up to grab his hair and kiss him very solidly on the mouth. “You are  _gorgeous._  I have no idea why we didn’t do this sooner.”

“Because…you’re…scary?” Brad’s hair flops in his eyes. “Ok actually I don’t know either.”


	40. Brad Maddox, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Brad/The Shield - Backpfeifengesicht
> 
> Backpfeifengesicht—(German) literally, “a face that needs a fist in it,” a person who needs to get smacked

When you compare him to Roman (who’s incredibly intimidating) and Dean (who seems like he might bite you at any moment), Seth seems like the  _nice_  member of the Shield. He seems calm. Sensible. And then of course you  _talk_  to him and he’s not the  _nice_  one, he’s just the  _quiet_  one, which is  _totally_  different.

Also, the only thing scarier than the Shield having it  _out_  for you is the Shield  _hitting_  on you. All of them. All at once.

Ok, backing up. This train of thought  _started_  with Brad seeing the Shield guys watching him, getting worried, and then getting  _more_  worried when Dean says, “Fuck you, I can be not scary,” and Roman says, “I don’t do talking things, I’m not the talker, have Dean talk to him,” and then Seth replies with, “Dean’s just going to freak him out, Dean’s not doing it,  _I’ll_  talk to him.”

Brad tucks his cell phone away for its own safety right before Seth reaches him.

 _Now_  they’ve been talking for ten minutes and Brad is…not sure where the conversation is going. Seth doesn't  _seem_  like he’s trying to be intimidating, he’s actually being very friendly, and yet Brad doesn’t is still nervous.

Finally he says, “Look, where. Where are you going with this, what are we talking about?”

Seth pauses, looks at him thoughtfully, and then–is disarmingly straightforward. “I’m flirting with you.”

“I–oh.”

“Yep.”

“Ok.”

“So?”

“Is this a scheme? Are you scheming to get me alone and then beat me up?”

“Not unless you want me to. And I’ll buy you dinner first, I’m not a  _total_  asshole.” Seth grins cheerfully at him. Brad sort of wants to punch him for looking so calm.

Brad takes a deep breath, starts to reply, thinks about it, stops, and then says, “And…what about Roman and Dean? They’re watching us.”

Seth pats him on the shoulder. “They’re my brothers. We share things.”

“So you’re speaking on behalf of–”

“All three of us, yes.”

Brad sucks in a nervous breath through his teeth, thinks about it, makes an on-the-fly  _what the hell_  decision, and says, “Ok. Details. We need to discuss details.”


	41. Shinsuke Nakamura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: shinsuke nakamura - "That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.” (not in your listed fandoms but i thought i'd throw him your way if you wanted to give him a shot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New meme!
> 
> \--
> 
> Ridiculous Sentence Prompts  
> toxixpumpkin:
> 
> “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”  
> “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“   
> "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”  
> “Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”  
> “The skirt is short on purpose.”  
> “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”  
> “So why did I have to punch that guy?”  
> “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”  
> “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”  
> “Please stop petting the test subjects. ”  
> “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”  
> “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle"   
> "So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”  
> “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”  
> “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”  
> “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”  
> “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”  
> “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Kenny is perched on the top of the refrigerator and shows no signs of climbing down. “Holy  _shit,_  that’s the tenth demon summoning  _this week!_ ”

Shinsuke stares up at him, puzzled. “I’m just making pancakes. Why do you keep thinking that I’m summoning demons?”

“It’s, it’s the  _arm-waving,_ man. The  _arms,_  and the  _hair,_  and the giant  _eye_ , and–you always  _look_  like you’re summoning demons.” Kenny settles himself slightly more comfortably on the fridge and edges back against the wall. “It’s  _freaky._ “

“You watch too much anime.” Shinsuke flips a pancake. “Rots your brain.”

“You were just  _watching_  anime with me–and what about  _the fucking demon?_  The one right over there cooking bacon?”

The demon waves genially to him. “Hello.”

“What, him?” Shinsuke shrugs. “He lives here.”


	42. Paige

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: paige - “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats."

Emma stares at her. “You  _what?_ ”

Bayley’s hands are pressed over her mouth, her eyes wide with delight. “ _Five_  cats?”

Paige scratches at the back of her neck nervously. “Well, Nattie wouldn’t let Tyson keep all the strays he took in because they don’t have space in the house and Toni’s been sneezing, and Kevin took one and Tyler took two of them and Hideo’s kids have a cat now but…”

“But?” Emma’s still staring.

“Well, there were more of them, and I just didn’t want them going to a shelter. Not that I think Nattie would do that, she’d find good homes for them, but…look, the point is, I have these five cats now and I’ve named them after the Spice Girls and I’m going to need some help taking care of them.”

Bayley’s already rocketing into the other room with a delighted shriek, which is echoed by a chorus of mewing as Paige’s new cats surge up to meet her.

Emma blinks several times, and then nods slowly and says, “I…I guess we have five cats now.”

Paige smiles nervously. “Do you forgive me?”

“I wasn’t mad at you, dummy.” Emma grins. “Although if you  _do_  want to make it up to me we can see about that this evening.”


	43. Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: sami/adrian - “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”

Adrian wakes up as they’re pulling in at a gas station, smacks the taste of sleep out of his mouth, and says, “What town are we in?”

“Hell if I know.” Sami grins at him and pops the latch for the gas tank. “All of these towns really look the same. You sleep well?”

“Yeah, I slept ok.” A pause. “What’s got you so smiley, then?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Out of the car and over to the pump. Swipe the card. “Now, I understand the whole sleep-talking thing.”

Adrian blinks. “The what.”

“What I  _don’t_  understand is the princess-dragon dream and why I’m in it.”

“I dreamed no such thing!”

The pump clicks on, and Sami sets the nozzle and leans back against the car. “Say what you like, man, but I heard what I heard.”

Adrian stares at him helplessly for a moment, going slowly red. “Look. Look, it’s an English thing. St. George. Dragons. Fighting. I can’t help it, I’ve always wanted to fight a dragon.”

“A  _princess,_  though. I didn’t think St. George saved a princess. And anyway I’d look terrible dressed as a princess. Can you imagine me in one of those pointy hats with the scarf on top? And  _petticoats._ ” Sami shudders. “All kinds of skirts on top of more skirts. Wouldn’t be able to move.”

“I dunno, I…you could look nice in a skirt.” Adrian is pointedly looking forward and  _not_  at Sami. “And–look, there’s lots of versions of the St. George story, he might have saved a princess, you don’t know.”

“Hell no. Suleiman the Magnificent, that was  _my_  story guy. He wrestled  _demons._ ” The pump clicks off, and Sami hangs the nozzle back up and snags his receipt before getting back into the car. “I’m not wearing petticoats for you. Or a hat with a scarf on it.”

“Maybe a skirt, though?”

“Depends on the skirt. We’ll see.”


	44. Prince Puma and Johnny Mundo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> princepuma asked: "i'm going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else." puma/johnny or “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" ivelisse/sexy star whichevs you wanna do!!

Puma sprawls on the bed, basking in a ray of sunlight streaming in through the window, and watches Johnny pace. Of course, Johnny is also talking, he’s been talking nonstop for fifteen minutes now, but Puma’s not listening. Sometimes he _does_  listen, he  _likes_  listening to Johnny talk, but the lack of clothing is distracting.

Johnny says, “What do you think, Puma? Do I go after him?”

Puma stares at him for a moment and then shrugs and signs, <I haven’t been listening.>

“You–why not?”

<You’re too naked and you talk too fast.> He blinks, slowly and lazily. <I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.>

“Why?” Johnny frowns, stretching. “It doesn’t normally bother you.” And then he watches Puma’s eyes, watches where they’re tracking. “We just–I mean, like, just an hour ago. You’re not in heat, are you? Do jaguars go into heat?”

Puma rolls his eyes and lets out a tiny, coughing laugh before rolling, first onto his stomach and then up on all fours. It occupies his hands, effectively rendering him speechless, but there’s some fairly obvious intent in the look on his face.

“All right, all right, I’ll put on some underwear. Before we  _both_  decide we’re up for round two.” Johnny turns to the dresser.

He doesn’t  _hit_  the dresser when Puma pounces on him, which is pretty lucky, but it’s a narrow miss. Puma licks rough-tongued at the back of his neck and then bites, very gently.

Johnny shivers. “Ok, maybe. Maybe later.”


	45. Ivelisse and Sexy Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also for princepuma–“Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" Ivelisse/Sexy Star

Ivelisse makes a small indignant noise. “Don’t  _baby_  me!”

Sexy Star looks down at her and says, sensibly, “If I put you down you’ll just try to kick him again, with the foot with the sprained ankle.”

“Well, I can’t  _balance_  on that foot,  _can_  I?” Ivelisse glares across the ring. “Put me down, I want to kick him again.”

“Is Angelico really worth crippling yourself?” Instead of putting her down, Sexy Star ducks between the ropes with Ivelisse in her arms and starts heading out of the room. Behind her, Angelico peeks out from where he’s covering his head with his arms. “We can kill him once your ankle’s better, if you like.”

Ivelisse scowls, tries to get down again, and winces when her foot briefly touches the floor. “…all right, kicking him right now might be a bad idea.”

Sexy Star grins and pats her lightly on the leg. “If you promise not to go back and get your leg broken I’ll put you down and we’ll go get some ice cream.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Ivelisse rests her head on Sexy Star’s shoulder, wraps her arms around the other woman’s neck. “Actually I think this will hurt him even worse.”

As they exit the room, Sexy Star murmurs in her ear, “If you ever suggest I’m just some cheap revenge plot I’ll drop you right now.”

“Cheap, no.” Ivelisse pulls her head down for a kiss. “But you are the _nicest_  revenge I’ve ever gotten to take.”


	46. Deucalion and Jimmy Jacobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scumbagnaito-archived asked: jimmy/deucalion: “So why did I have to punch that guy?”

Jimmy tries, without much success, to shake the ache out of his knuckles. He’s not expecting much of an answer, and in fact he’s vaguely worried about the consequences of questioning Deucalion’s orders, but his hand _hurts,_  dammit. “Seriously. Why?”

“Because it satisfied me to watch you do it.” Deucalion catches Jimmy’s wrist in a tight grip, stopping him from shaking his hand more. “Your capacity for inflicting pain interests me.”

“I mean, I hit people for a living, I’d have to enjoy it a  _little_ –where are we going.” Jimmy stumbles as Deucalion tugs him along, out of the room where the man he struck is still reeling and into a darkened hallway next to it. “I. Deucalion, what are we doing in here?”

“Be silent.” Deucalion’s grip on his wrist is  _definitely_  painful. “You hit him. Hit _me._  Try to  _hurt_  me.”

Jimmy stares at him for a moment, then wrenches his arm free, pulls back, and punches Deucalion in the gut.

It’s like hitting a brick wall.

“Try harder.”

He punches twice more. Kicks Deucalion in the shins, shifts to knee him in the crotch–

Before his knee connects, Deucalion grabs his leg and shoves him back into the wall. “Your viciousness pleases me.” And then–Deucalion drops to his knees. “Be silent.”

Jimmy chews on his lip, swallowing hard as Deucalion lifts up his skirt and pulls his underwear down–and bites the inside of his thigh, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to  _hurt._  Despite his best attempt to obey orders, Jimmy grunts. Deucalion gets in  _moods,_  and Jimmy doesn’t really  _object_  to them, but it’s hard to be  _prepared._

“You treat pain like an old friend.” Deucalion turns his head, bites Jimmy’s _other_  thigh. “I like it.”

The next bite is a bit softer, just enough to feel  _good,_  and then Jimmy scrabbles as he’s lifted off the ground. Deucalion hooks Jimmy’s knees over his shoulders and presses him back, propping him against the wall and licking.

Biting.

Licking.

Jimmy’s bone-rattling groan comes out from the back of his throat and through his clenched teeth despite his best efforts to stay quiet as Deucalion eats him. It hurts. His eyes are crossing with how much it hurts, how  _good_  a hurt, how the teeth grazing over his labia make him shudder. It’d be easier to be loud, and he groans again.

Deucalion murmurs, “Hush,” against his clit and then licks in and opens Jimmy up with his tongue. “I am going to hurt you,” into his skin, between movements of his tongue that have Jimmy shaking. “It is going to feel very good.”


	47. Chuck Taylor and Trent Barretta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.” Chuck/Trent. PS You re my fav. fanfic writer possibly ever.

“I. Uh.” The Very Grown-Up Pillow Fort rustles ominously above them, and Chuck says, “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Underneath him, Trent nods. “Ok. I’m sorry I kissed you back.”

“I’m sorry I responded to that by sticking my hand down your pants.”

“I’m sorry I turned Fort Kickass into Fort Blowjob.”

“Which is about to fall down, we should probably get out now.”

“I need a beer.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Apology accepted.”


	48. Bray Wyatt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> itsahardyparty asked: "That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit" Bray Wyatt

“Why’s it always gotta be  _me?_ ” Heath is on top of one of the craft services tables, gaping open-mouthed at the circle of sigils with its bubbling center. “Why can’t you pull this shit somewhere  _else,_  y’fucking creeper?”

Bray smiles genially at him. “You got a real talent for bein’ in the right place at the wrong time, my friend.”

“Ain’t it the  _wrong_  place at the  _wrong_ –ten, though.  _Ten!_  What you need so many demons for anyway?”

“They got their purposes.” Bray is gazing dreamily into the circle now, humming in the back of his throat as the bubbles begin, slowly, to form a shape. “This one, he’s gonna go whisper in some ears for me. Last one was teachin’ me things. They got their purposes, they got their ways.”

As Heath stares in horror, mouth working but unable to speak, Bo wanders in and starts perusing the sandwiches as if there’s nothing unusual going on. When he doesn’t comment even after looking  _directly at the demon,_  Heath splutters, “Don’t you got anything to say about this shit, Bo?”

Bo blinks, grins, shrugs. “What, the demon? Not really. He does this kind of thing all the time.”

“All the–how do  _you_  know?”

The demon is apparently done forming, and Bray murmurs to it for a moment before turning to Bo and saying, “Hey, little brother, you mind showing this fella ‘round the place? He knows what he’s lookin’ for.”

“You’re  _brothers?_ ”

“Sure, Bray.” Bo holds out a hand to the demon.

It climbs into his palm. It’s unnervingly small.

Heath mops his brow with the closest napkin. “I gotta get outta this place.”

“You do what feels right, Heath Slater.” Bray’s wheezy laughter follows Heath as he runs out. “You do what feels right to you.”


	49. Finn Balor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> itsahardyparty asked: "Fuck, I feel like I got hit by a car...wait, I did? And it was your car?" ~ Finn Balor

Hideo is laughing above him. “Was my foot. Not a car.”

Finn stares upwards, slightly cross-eyed and smiling crookedly. His nose is bleeding. He can feel it. “Awfully nice car. Very compact. I’d drive that car.”

“Not driving anything, Finn.” Reaching down, Hideo grabs his hands and helps him get to his feet. “You’re bleeding.”

Blood trickles down his face. “Powerful engine, too. Real beauty, that car.”

“Didn’t think I hit you that hard.”

“I like…I like cars.”

Hideo pats him on the shoulder. “Glad you do.”


	50. Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: prompts!! Sami/Adrian, "I'm sorry I got way too into playing house & kissed you passionately?"

“Wow,” Sami says after a moment. “Didn’t know shopping for sheets would get you going this much.”

Adrian laughs awkwardly. “Well, y’know, there’s beds all about, it’s very domestic, you look nice in that jacket…”

“Adrian, this is the same jacket I always wear.”

“But it looks especially nice on you today. Ah. Feels like after we finish shopping we ought to be going home together to have a nice roast or something.”

Sami grins. “Really, though. All I wanted was company, if I’d known playing house would get you this riled up I would have gotten off my ass and gotten new sheets ages ago.”

Adrian glances from side to side down the empty aisle and then jerks his chin. “There’s one of those beds that’s all over comforter samples in that corner over there.”

“Adrian, that’s a terrible idea. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing, I love it, come on, but that’s a terrible idea.”


	51. Ultramantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: for my next trick--Any Spectral Envoy, "why wouldn't I be mad at you, you ate all my cereal & faked your death for three years!" (I mean it could involve other chikara folk, really. considering.)

Hallowicked empties the last box of Kashi into his mouth in one final gulp and says, after he’s swallowed his mouthful, “<It seemed like the right decision at the time.>”

“But–I mean–” At a loss for words for once, Ultramantis Black grabs his staff and gesticulates with it pointlessly, pacing back and forth. His robe is in disarray. He keeps stopping to stare at Frightmare, who’s crouched in the corner of the kitchen quietly plowing through a box of granola bars. “Your Lord of Rot person! The ritual! The  _sacrifice!_  You were dead and gone,  _dead_  and  _gone!_ ”

“<It was the only way.>” Hallowicked tosses the cereal box aside and leans back in his chair, gazing steadily up at his former friend, former enemy, now…something? “<For what it’s worth, I’m as sorry as I can be.>”

Frightmare shrugs. “<And I’m as sorry as he is. I go where he goes. Not really up to me.>”

Mantis stares at them for a moment, and then his staff goes clattering to the floor and he crumples, clinging to Hallowicked’s legs, pressing his face against Hallowicked’s knees. His shoulders shake. “Dead and gone, Wicked. You were dead and gone. And you went where I couldn’t look for you.”

Hallowicked rubs a hand over the back of Mantis’ neck. “<And now I’m back, and free.>”

“This is too much.” Mantis’ voice is muffled. “I need to lie down.”

Hallowicked gazes down at the top of Mantis’ head and says, “<Stand up and I’ll carry you to bed.” And with an almost-smile in his voice, “<I’ll even turn out the light for you.>”


	52. Finn Balor and Hideo Itami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: and finally--Finn/hideo, "I'm gonna need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else." thank youuuu!

“<I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before we continue this conversation.>”

Hideo grins at him. “<You know, in Japan–>”

“<We’re not  _in_  Japan, we’re in Florida.>” Finn rolls over onto his back and watches Hideo upside down. “<Plus you don’t get to use the ‘communal baths’ excuse when you’re only naked because we were having sex.>”

Hideo’s only response is to stretch luxuriously in the sunlight.

“<That’s not helping me focus.>”

“<What makes you think that was my plan?>”


	53. Brad Maddox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wolfbad asked: Brad Madox - “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”

“You…you need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen,” Brad says weakly.

Dean pats him heavily on the shoulder once Drew McIntyre is safely stowed on the floor. “Don’t worry about it, he’s not actually dead, he’s just unconscious.”

“Wait, for how long? Because that’s super bad for you.”

Before Dean can say anything there’s a thump and Seth says, “ _This_  guy might be dead, though. Not that I really care. He  _bit_  me.”

Brad stares at Heath Slater, unmoving but hopefully still breathing on his kitchen table, and starts to gibber. “ _Why? Why_  do you guys do this? Do you want to kill _me?_  Do you want me to go  _crazy?_  Are they  _presents?_  It’s, I mean, you’re like _cats_  bringing in dead  _birds_  and leaving them in the middle of the living room, is it meant to  _impress_  me?”

Roman drops an unconscious Jinder Mahal into a chair. “Why? Is it working?”

“What, the  _killing me?_ ”

“No, like, are you impressed.”

Brad faints. Into Dean’s arms, coincidentally.

Seth says, reproachfully, “Roman, you killed him.”

“I dunno, I thought it was a fair question.”

Dean hefts his swooning armload and groans. “He’ll  _never_  go for it now.”


	54. Dasher Hatfield and Mark Angelosetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jamesneatojourney asked: Dasher / Mark "So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”

Dasher’s got his arms wrapped around Mark’s waist from behind, desperately trying to hold him back. “It’s not just the arm, sport, if you go after that Max fella in your condition you’re gonna get yourself killed.”

Mark strains to get out of his grip, the bandage on his head slipping. “He’s an _asshole,_  though.”

“He may not be the nicest guy, no, but he’s not worth getting yourself killed over. I’m pretty fond of you, sport, I don’t wanna see what he’d  _do._ ”

Across the room, Max Smashmaster leans over toward Flex and Blaster and says something quietly, and they all laugh.

Mark fumes. “Dasher, they’re making  _fun_  of me.”

“You’ll  _live,_  sport.”

Blaster looks  _directly_  at them and snorts. “What’s that nerd tryin’ to do,  _bleed_  on us?”

Followed by Max saying something about Mark’s mother that Dasher would _never_  repeat, and making a gesture that takes Dasher  _completely_  by surprise.

Mark stumbles, startled, as Dasher lets go of him and charges forward. “Son, I am gonna wash your mouth out with  _soap,_  see if I–”


	55. Gavin Loudspeaker and Bryce Remsburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jamesneatojourney asked: Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle Gavin / Bryce

“But I don’t want you to make it  _worse._ ”

“Look, I’m honestly surprised that you can  _lift_  me.” Gavin stares down at the top of Bryce’s head in puzzlement, clinging to his shoulders to keep from falling down. “Shouldn’t we be worried about what this might do to your back?”

Bryce shifts his grip and screws up his face in concentration, Gavin’s long legs draping sort of ridiculously over one of his arms. “Ok, one, I’m very strong. Two, you’re really not that heavy. And I mean, I’ve  _seen_  you eat, how are you this light? Do you have hollow bones? Because if you have hollow bones then I’m definitely worried about your ankle. Three, I’m protecting you, that’s my job.”

“Bryce, people are staring at us. Mantis is staring at us.  _Mike_  is staring at us.” Blushing, Gavin tries to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze. “Oh, shit,  _Nøkken and Pinkie are staring at us._ New plan, don’t put me down, hide me.”


	56. Blake and Murphy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pigtailsandwrestlingboots asked: "The skirt is short on purpose." Murphy/trans!Blake sexy times~

Murphy scratches his head. “I thought you didn’t  _like_  wearing skirts.”

“Not when people’d think I was a  _girl._  It’s  _totally_  different now.” Blake’s admiring himself in the mirror. The skirt, which is brief and lacy and mint green, looks incongruously delicate on his stocky legs. “ _Now_  I can wear ‘em as much as I want.”

“It. It  _looks_  good.” Murphy’s face feels warm.

“Yeah?” Blake grins over his shoulder.

And sits down straddling Murphy’s lap.

Murphy slides his hands up his partner’s thighs under the skirt and feels… _lace._ Moves his hands in, and the lace is slightly damp, there’s warmth under his hand.

His eyes cross a little.

Blake is still grinning at him. “Just looks good, or does it feel good too?”

Murphy says, stupidly, “Um.”

“’cause I can think of all  _kinds_  of fun stuff to do with a getup like this.”


	57. Bayley and Hideo Itami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boundandpacked asked: Oh my goodness. Bayley and her housemate (I loved Hideo here but whatever works), “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”

Bayley adjusts her headband with a grin. “All right, chocolate croissants are ready to put in the oven!”

Hideo is frowning at the recipe. “Bayley, I am…not sure this is right.”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m, like, seventy-five percent sure this won’t explode on us.” She slides the baking sheet into the oven, closes the door, and starts the timer.

Hideo stares at it nervously for a moment, but nothing explodes, so they both sit back down at the kitchen table and go back to their game of Fluxx.

Carmella wanders in a moment later, sniffing the air. “What smells good?”

“Hideo and I made croissants!” Bayley grins up at her. “With chocolate inside them! We had a little trouble getting them put together, but now they’re baking and everything’s–”

From the direction of the oven, there’s a sudden  _PAFF_  sound, and the clink of a baking sheet being jangled suddenly against a rack. As they all stare, frozen, there’s another  _PAFF_ , and then a third and a fourth.

Hideo gets up, goes over to the oven, and opens the door a crack, peering inside. “Bayley, the croissants have exploded.”

Bayley squeaks and leaps out of her chair, pulling the pan of burst croissants out of the oven in seconds.

Carmella pats her on the shoulder. “I bet they’ll still taste good.”

Bayley stares at the mess on the pan. “Well,  _shit._ ”

Hideo and Carmella both gape at her.

She claps a hand over her mouth. “Ooooh my god. Please excuse me.”


	58. Ultramantis Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luileisi asked: Lol I never requested the mantis on his knees begging thing did I

He cannot sit, but he cannot stand. He can only stay like this, on his knees, his hands bound above him, and say, “Hallowicked, please. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Hallowicked’s grip on his chin is tight, and his voice is low. “<But it does, Ultramantis Black. This is the way it goes.>”

“Please.” Mantis’ voice is shaking. “What can I…what can I do to change this? What can I do to change your mind?”

Slow regard, and then a slow, insinuating smile, and this is where the scene is supposed to get  _sexy,_  they’ve  _planned_  what’s going to happen next, and Hallowicked drawls out, “<Well…>”

But their eyes meet, and suddenly instead of feeling vaguely nervous and turned on the way the scene’s supposed to make him feel, Ultramantis Black is shaken by a terrible premonition, and he says, suddenly, “Burzum.”

And the bindings are off and Hallowicked is crouched next to him, rubbing his wrists. “<Are you all right?>”

“Yes, yes, I just…” Mantis leans against his chest. “Not this, not tonight.” The premonition hangs in his mind: himself, alone, trembling with the knowledge that Hallowicked and Frightmare have  _left_  him. “Too many visions.”

“<I’ll get you some water.>”

“No, not yet.” He wraps his arms around Hallowicked’s neck. “Just…stay with me. Please stay.”


	59. Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: meme! meme! could I get Sami/Adrian #19 "come home with me?"

“We should get breakfast tomorrow,” Sami says between gasps. “I know a good breakfast place.”

Adrian’s voice wafts up from somewhere between the bottom of Sami’s rucked-up shirt and the top of his as-yet-unremoved pants. “Sounds wonderful. When should I pick you up?”

“Now works. Now is good.”

There’s a pause, which includes some definitely unwelcome stillness, and then Adrian says to Sami’s navel, “Someday you’re going to get arrested for your awful pick-up lines, mate, y’know that?”

“Yes, but I’ll be very happy.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Come home with me.”

Another pause before Adrian says, still more to Sami’s stomach than his face, “Your bed’s probably a better place for this than this hallway.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“I’m not getting up at the crack of dawn, you know.”

“I think you’re assuming that we’re going to sleep at all.”


	60. Finn Balor and Hideo Itami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: (request 2) Finn/hideo, #17, "I didn't know you could sing"

It starts out as a gentle sound in the background, an almost unnoticeable hum that slowly builds and becomes clearer until Hideo (who has otherwise been reading in contented silence) finds that he’s apparently listening to a medley of American pop hits sung in a robust Irish-accented voice.

The Nirvana doesn’t surprise him at all. Madonna, only a little–Finn’s rendition of “Like A Prayer” is really very nice. It’s the Britney Spears that finally gets Hideo laughing. Quietly, of course, because Finn’s enthusiasm for “Hit Me Baby One More Time” is pretty charming. He’s not a  _bad_  singer.

It’s just not what Hideo would have expected.

When Finn finally comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist Hideo just says, not looking up from his book, “I didn’t know you could sing.”

Finn jumps and nearly sends his towel flying. “When did  _you_  get back?”

“When you were getting in the shower. You never sing in the showers at the Performance Center.”

“Well,  _yeah._  People might be  _listening._ ”

“Don’t you want them to?” Hideo smiles down at his book. “Maybe you sing ‘Teddy Bear’s Picnic’ to Owens next time you see him, see how he likes it.”


	61. Shinsuke Nakamura and Kota Ibushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: aaaand for my last trick, shinsuke/Kota #4 "I'm flirting with you" (mostly inspired by mxjoyride's perfect perfect fic)

The first demon shows up with flowers. Kota wasn’t expecting flowers, there’s no  _note,_  and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t know anyone who summons  _demons_  as a hobby, so it takes him a little by surprise. It’s a very small demon, at least, its grotesquely grinning face level with his knees, and the bouquet it hands him has cherry blossoms and lilacs in it, and it looks up at him and says, courteously, “Message back?”

Kota blinks at it. “Uh. Thank you?”

The demon nods and disappears in a puff of mist.

The second demon brings chocolates, although it’s nowhere near Valentine’s Day. It’s of approximately the same size as the first one, but the face is slightly different; that’s how Kota can tell them apart. And the chocolates are very good. It  _also_  asks for a message back, and he says to it, “Where did you come from?”

It nods, says nothing, and disappears in a puff of mist.

The third demon has, even more strangely, a small doll, the kind you might get out of a UFO catcher machine. It’s a doll of Kenny. If Kenny were  _around_ , Kota would show it to him; it’d make him smile. Of course Kenny  _isn’t_  around, but nevertheless it’s weirdly sweet as a gesture.

He stares at the doll for a long moment until the third demon–which is definitely distinct from the first two–says, “Message back?”

“Who’s  _sending_  me this stuff?”

The demon nods and disappears.

The next day Kota catches Shinsuke summoning demons in the men’s bathroom at the Tokyo Dome. This isn’t the  _weirdest_  thing he’s ever found Shinsuke doing, but it is  _up_  there, and as Shinsuke jumps in surprise and Kota stares at him several things click into place.

Kota says, slowly, “Have  _you_  been sending me presents via demon?”

Shinsuke steps in front of the summoning circle as if trying to hide it and says, innocently, “Maybe.”

“…ok. Why?”

“I’m flirting with you.”

“That’s a strange way of doing it.”

“I’m probably a very strange person. I don’t know if I’m entirely qualified to judge myself there.”

“Why are you flirting with me?”

Shinsuke stares at him for a moment. “I…because?”

“Look, are you  _interested_  in me, or is this some other strange thing?”

More staring, and then Shinsuke reaches gently forward and turns Kota around until he’s facing a mirror. Which is a weird thing to do.

By the time Kota figures out what Shinsuke’s trying to say, the other man’s already disappeared. Possibly literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New meeeeeeme.
> 
> \--  
> Send me two or more characters and a number and I’ll write a drabble / ficlet.  
> myquantumtheory:
> 
> (Some of these are from my brain; some of them are from this dialogue generator.)
> 
> “Can I kiss you?”  
> “I can’t let you do that.”  
> “You came back.”  
> “I’m flirting with you.”  
> “Are you drunk?”  
> “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”  
> “How long has it been?”  
> “I’ll be right over.”  
> “You know, it’s okay to cry.”  
> “I just want this.”  
> “You don’t need to protect me.”  
> “You can’t protect me.”  
> “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”  
> “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”  
> “Please don’t argue.”  
> “I did a pregnancy test.”  
> “I didn’t know you could sing.”  
> “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”  
> “Come home with me.”


	62. Bayley and Sami Zayn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boundandpacked asked: Bayley & Sami Zayn, "I'll be right over."

“You built it all out of  _Legos?_ ” Bayley’s voice almost squeaks with surprise over the phone. “I thought  _Finn_  was the Legos guy.”

“I can do Legos too, I can be also a Legos guy.”

“But what are you going to  _do_  with something like that? I mean, were you going to put marbles in it or what?”

Sami looks over his Lego construction, glances over at the kitchen, and feels the slow dawning of an idea. “Well, I do have something like six bottles of Diet Coke over here. If I got some Mentos then maybe I could get kind of a chain reaction thing going…”

Bayley  _squeaks._   _Actual_  squeaking. “I’ll be right over. With Mentos.”


	63. Ivelisse and Angelico and Son of Havoc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> princepuma asked: you need LU prompts? I GOT ya LU prompts. Ivelisse/Angelico/SOH #13

“You know, really wanted to hate their guts?” Ivelisse has her hand twisted tightly in Angelico’s hair. “Because they’re obnoxious, they’re stupid, they’re _everything_  you don’t like. And you try and you try and you try and you  _can’t fucking hate them!_ ”

Angelico makes a muffled noise and waves one hand back and forth.  _Maybe he has, maybe not?_  Which is honestly all the response he can manage anyway, and Ivelisse is sort of surprised that he can even concentrate enough for  _that._

“I  _should_  hate you, you know that?” She rocks, bites her lip, grips his hair tighter. “You’re such an  _asshole._  And a  _creep._ Not like Son of Havoc, right? Right, Havoc, he’s not like you? You’re politer than he is.”

Not that Son of Havoc can say much either, his mouth’s occupied just as much as Angelico’s is, but he makes sort of a grunting agreement noise.

Which makes Angelico shake.

Which makes  _him_  do something with his tongue that feels  _very_  nice.

She bites her lip and glares furiously down at Angelico, giving his head a little squeeze with her thighs for good measure. “You are  _infuriating._ ”

He makes a cheery noise, eyes crinkling. Son of Havoc starts to laugh, in a muffled way.

“Oh, shut up, both of you.”


	64. Shinsuke Nakamura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: shinsuke, #18 "i didn't know you could sing" please!

Shinsuke wanders through the building and a low, dreamy noise seems to follow him. It isn’t any particular thing, just an aimless musical murmuring with the vaguest sense of rhythm, diverting sometimes into one song, sometimes into another, snatches of rhyme and tune and lyric interweaving in a way that invites listeners. He doesn’t seem to be entirely aware that he’s doing it; he stares off into the middle distance as he walks, unseeing, thoughts clearly lightyears away.

Until Kota says, “I didn’t know you could sing.”

Shinsuke blinks. “Only sometimes. When I’m not thinking about it.”

“Doesn’t that make the. Uh. Demon-summoning difficult? Doesn’t that involve singing?”

“More chanting than singing.” Shinsuke shrugs. “It’s not so hard.”

“You’re good at singing, though.”

Kota, Shinsuke is suddenly aware of, has absurdly long eyelashes. Like a goddamn comic book character. “Thank you.”

Kota looks  _up_  at him through the absurdly long eyelashes and says, “Have you eaten lunch yet?”

“Ah. No. No I haven’t.”

“You haven’t sent me any demons lately.”

“I…thought you said they bothered you.”

“Come have lunch with me.”

Shinsuke blinks. “Ah. Ok.”


	65. Prince Puma and King Cuerno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> princepuma asked: puma/cuerno #6
> 
> 6: “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”

Prince Puma is bleeding.

It’s only for a moment, and then he shifts reflexively, spotted fur rippling over his skin and closing the cut with the transformation. His hands spasm, growing claws that dig into the couch, and his tongue lolls briefly from his mouth in an animal grin.

King Cuerno looks surprised. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. I meant to surprise you this time, not actually to injure.”

Puma lifts his hands–his  _front paws,_  long-toed as they are–and signs,  _This time?_

“I’ll have your pelt for my walls eventually, Puma, just not today.” Just for emphasis, Cuerno reaches out quick as lightning and grabs Puma by the scruff of the neck, shaking him a bit.

Puma sniffs haughtily–and then lets out a huffy, tongue-lolling, silent laugh and licks Cuerno’s face with a rough tongue.  _I’m not your prey,_  he signs, and then makes a tiny leap forward, knocking Cuerno down, pressing his hands–they’re hands again–hard into Cuerno’s shoulders.

Then, abruptly, he curls up on Cuerno’s chest and goes to sleep.

Cuerno looks down at the top of Puma’s head and says, “For royalty you’re very short-sighted. I’m going to kill you someday, why trust me like this?”

Puma’s hand lands heavily on Cuerno’s face, fingers splayed awkwardly over his mouth and nose, but he doesn’t otherwise reply.


	66. Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 4 with Chuck and Trent
> 
> 4: “I’m flirting with you.”

“Why?”

Trent gapes at him. “What do you mean, why?”

“Like, why are you flirting with me.” Chuck shrugs. “It seems like a simple question.”

“Because.” Trent scratches the back of his head. The question has him thrown so badly that he’s actual not sure what to say. “Because…I…want to sleep with you?”

“You already sleep with me, we share the bed half the time when we’re traveling so that the hotel’s cheaper.”

“I want to sleep with you in a sex way.”

The lightbulb goes on. “ _Ohhh._  Dude, you could’ve just said so.”

“I have been. I have been saying so for three weeks now.”

“Wait, really?” Chuck blinks. “Man, am I extra dumb lately or something? I gotta stop sharing drinks with Orange, I think it’s messing with me.”

Trent twitches.  _“So?”_

“So what? Oh, right. Yeah, sure, why not, it’s kinda weird that we haven’t already given how long we’ve been dating.”

“How long we’ve–wait, how long do  _you_  think we’ve been dating?”


	67. Drew Gulak and Orange Cassidy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 17 Drew Gulak & Orange Cassidy
> 
> 17: “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“I  _can’t._ ”

“Orange, you were singing  _just now._ ”

“No I wasn’t.” Orange drains half a bottle of juice in one gulp. “I was just kind of making a noise.”

Drew stares at him. “Yes. The kind of noise that classically-trained opera singers make. Did you not  _know_  you could sing?”

Orange shrugs. “I guess? Man, don’t make a big deal out of it. Can  _you_  sing?”

“Me? Fuck no.”

“No, fuck, if  _I_  can sing and not know I can sing then you can too, sing something.”

Drew rolls his eyes. “Ok, ok, gimme a second.” He clears his throat. “What the hell am I supposed to sing?”

“Shit, sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’ that’d be amazing.”

“ _Really?_  You want me to sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’”

“Dooooo it.”

Drew sighs and then launches into song.

When he finishes the song there’s a moment of silence and then Orange says, “I’m really turned on.”

“…Orange, I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. Can I sing or not?”

“It means you can sing and also we should make out.”

Drew stares at him. Shrugs. “Yeah, ok, why not.”


	68. Aiden English and Simon Gotch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 19. The Vaudevillains
> 
> 19: “Come home with me.”

Aiden says, “Why?” even as he’s flinging an arm around Simon’s shoulders and stumbling along beside him.

“Because you’re very drunk and I’m not letting you drive home in this state.” Simon steadies his partner easily, wrapping an arm around Aiden’s waist so that the other man doesn’t stray. “My apartment is closer.”

“Is it  _strange_  being from the past?” Aiden is just drunk enough that he’s saying _everything_  in actor mode, and his voice booms as they sway along the sidewalk toward Simon’s apartment building. “What’s it  _like?_ ”

Simon grins. “The buildings are taller. And so far I haven’t met anyone dying of polio.”

“Wonderful! Excellent!”

They get to the apartment building, stumbling past the doorman and into the elevator with fairly minimal mishap. Simon manages to hit the button with his elbow–he could afford to rent a house, but the thrill of living so high above the ground is still too much to pass up. Meanwhile, Aiden is saying, drunkenly, “You are  _very_  attractive and I’d like to kiss you.”

“Ah. Just the once. You’re quite drunk. Wouldn’t want you doing anything you regr–”

There’s a lot of mustache in the way of even the most casual kiss on the mouth between the two of them, and it makes it difficult for Simon to keep speaking.

“Aiden, you know I don’t really–” Simon manages as the elevator door opens and they make their way to his apartment.

“I know, I know. With the…pants. But you’re  _very–_ ”

“Thank you, I appreciate that. Inasmuch as I notice things like that you’re  _also_  very–”

“Thank you! We’re a wonderful pair.”

Simon gets Aiden to drink some water and has some himself, and successfully manages to keep his partner from spilling very much. By the time he’s finished his own glass, though, Aiden’s falling asleep on top of him, so he can’t quite get up to put it away.

Sighing, but not entirely unhappy, Simon leans against the couch cushions and closes his eyes, resigned to sleeping pinned under the weight of his dearest friend.


	69. The United Nations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Lady United Nations - #1 "Can I kiss you?"

It sort of drops out of Prakash’s mouth in the middle of what’s otherwise mostly undifferentiated yelling about whatever’s been on her mind–their upcoming matches, her gear, the stray cat she just saw go by outside. Generalized yelling and then, “Can I kiss you?”

Juana blinks. “I. Excuse me?”

“You have a nice mouth even though your teeth are kinda crazy, can I kiss you, you’re cute.”

Boar lowers her magazine slightly, watching them over the top. Ms. Azerbaijan doesn’t notice, too off in her own world as she gazes dreamily at the ceiling.

“I  _suppose_  you can–” Juana’s cut off abruptly by the very  _physical_  revelation that Prakash’s idea of a kiss involves tackling. Her chair topples over, and luckily she falls  _off_  it instead of  _under_  it. “This is–mm, this is not  _dignified_ –”

“Kissing isn’t really a dignified activity,” Boar murmurs, grinning behind her magazine (”What The Well-Dressed Sow Is Wearing This Season,  _please._ ) “And Prakash isn’t really a dignified girl.”


	70. Oleg the Usurper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Lady Oleg and whoever you want #4 - Are you flirting with me?"

Olga nods enthusiastically and then says, “I don’t understand, what are you asking?”

Ultramantis Black stares at her, weirdly dumbstruck by the sudden need to explain what “flirting” is. “Are you…flirting is…you know, are you saying that you’re attracted to me, romantically and-slash-or sexually, and would like us to act upon that interest?” She scratches awkwardly at an antenna. “That’s flirting. Are you flirting with me?”

“I see!” Olga thinks about it for the moment, brow furrowing in thought, and then says, cheerfully, “Yes! I am flirting with you! Would you like an onion?”

Mantis accepts the pungent vegetable with a puzzled smile. “Thank you, Olga. But I’m…I’m not interested, you know. In…romance with you.”

“Ok.” Olga takes a bite of her onion. “That’s all right. You’re very attractive! You don’t mind if I still look at you sometimes, right?”

“Ah…no, I don’t mind. That’s quite all right.”

“A lot of people do, you know.”

“I.” Mantis blinks. “I didn’t know that.”

“You’re  _very_  attractive.” Another bite of onion, and Olga smiles brightly at her. “Everyone knows.”

“…everyone but me, apparently.”


	71. Ultramantis Black, Kodama, and Obariyon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Lady Ultramantis/Batiri - #2 - "I can't let you do that."

“I want to go to her. Talk to her privately. I’m…I’m sure she’ll see me. Right?”

Obariyon and Kodama are sleepy, which makes them weird (weirder than usual, at least), and so instead of speaking individually they trade off words between them as they say, “I can’t…let you…do that.”

“But I  _have_  to try. I’m worried about her.”

“Hallowicked’s in the…grip of something…much more powerful than you.”

Mantis sits down on the end of the bed with a thump and buries her face in her hands. Obariyon and Kodama come up and rest their chins on her shoulders, wrapping their arms around her.

“Do  _you_  two know anything about this…Nazmaldun?”

“Not really…only sort of…more than nothing…more than we’d like.” A pause. “Come to bed,” in one ear. And, “Come to bed,  _please,_ ” in the other.


	72. Paige

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: paige #1 "can i kiss you?"

Bayley tells her no. But she follows it up with an explanation of how she doesn’t really  _do_  kisses like that, mouths are kind of weird to her and the whole thing just makes her very uncomfortable. And that she likes Paige a  _lot_  and thinks she’s very pretty and if she’d like to kiss  _Emma_  then Bayley will clap.

So Paige repeats the question to Emma. She’d been intending to anyway.

Emma says yes.

She’s a good kisser.

Bayley does, in fact, clap.


	73. The New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: the new day, #6 “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”

Bo Dallas is being led away in handcuffs, grinning cheerfully the entire time and making small talk with his arresting officer. He doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

Big E scratches his head. “It…wasn’t supposed to happen like that, was it?”

“I don’t know, man.” Xavier just gapes. “Ask Kofi, it was  _his_  pancake recipe. I’m just…just gonna go over here and be a smart, athletic man who doesn’t have anything to do with this situation.”

Big E turns to Kofi, who immediately climbs up on top of the nearest tall thing–in this case a lighting rig. “Look, it never blew up before!”


	74. Johnny Mundo and Alberto El Patron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> princepuma asked: uuuhhh johnny/el patron #4 im so sorry i sent so many just wanna give u options lol
> 
> Friend, you are generally welcome to send five prompts. I like getting lots of prompts. Although more than five is sort of going overboard.
> 
> Anyway I’ve been getting caught up on LU and they’re just. Wow.
> 
> 4: “I’m flirting with you.”

“I. Uh. I hadn’t realized that. There…seems to be a lot of that going around here.”

Alberto raises an eyebrow. “A lot of flirting with you?”

“A lot of a  _lot_  of stuff. Including. Ah. A lot of  _very weird flirting_  in general. Have you  _seen_  Drago and Aerostar? Or what’s-his-face and that hot chick and the guy from New Zealand or whatever? And also a lot of me realizing things about myself.” Johnny takes a step backwards. He’s babbling. He’s definitely babbling. He’s saying a lot of words and probably not making much sense.

“So.”

“Yes.”

“I did actually ask if you wanted to go get a drink.”

“Which was flirting. With me.”

“I can go flirt with someone–”

“I need liquor. I’d like to have some while in close proximity to you.” Wait, why is he talking like this? He feels like he’s in high school and trying hard to cope with the fact that a cool kid wants to sit with him at lunch. Except with the additional thing where sitting with that cool kid might later lead to him blowing said cool kid in a nightclub bathroom. That is. What? That analogy went off course.

 _He’s_  supposed to be cool. Johnny Mundo is supposed to be cool.

He’s not cool. He’s going to get drinks with Alberto El Patron and then probably blow him in a nightclub bathroom. Assuming they go to a nightclub.

“Come on, Johnny,” Alberto says, slinging an arm around Johnny’s shoulders. “I know a club near here with a great bartender.”


	75. Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: If you are still taking prompt requests... Chuck Taylor/Trent?, #4 (I'm flirting with you) or #5 (Are you drunk?) Yeah, they're not from LU or the WWE, so if this gets unanswered it's okay by me. P.S.: you are possibly one of my favourite fanfic writers. I will think of a WWE or LU prompt too, I swear. Thank you!
> 
> Ssh of course I will write this for you you’re so nice. ^///^ Anyway I already did #4, so #5 it is. As a follow-up.

“Your tongue tastes like Pop Rocks.”

“Are you drunk?”

Trent peers at the mostly-empty bottle in his hand, and then at Chuck, and says, “We’re  _both_  drunk.”

Chuck looks down at them. “And naked!” He seems surprised by this. “Right. Because…sex. That we’re going to have. Wait, Pop Rocks?”

“No, sex.”

“No, you said my tongue tasted like Pop Rocks. But all we’ve been drinking is whiskey.”

“Fuck, man, I don’t know, I’m  _drunk.”_


	76. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Owens/Zayn or Steen/Generico, “I love to colour you black and blue and have my mark all over you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in a new meme!
> 
> \--
> 
> send me a pairing and a number and I write you a drabble  
> sosearchingromeo:
> 
> (some of these quotes were borrowed from AYBS, DW and Xena)
> 
> “I could hold you forever.”  
> “We need to talk.”  
> “It would be perfect. You just need less clothes.”  
> “I don’t care if it’s not possible. It’s not impossible.”  
> “So I heard you singing in the shower……”  
> “I’m touching myself right now.”  
> “You deserve the world, but since I cannot give that to you, I will give you the next best thing, which is my world.”  
> “In a few days people will have forgotten. And we can be together.”  
> “What do you mean, we’re not alone?”  
> “I love to colour you black and blue and have my mark all over you.”  
> “Meet me for lunch. I want you to grope me in the car.”  
> “You have such a dirty mind, and it works on me!”  
> “I woke up wet this morning.”  
> “Your heart is my piñata.”  
> “Shush, no one may know.”  
> “Please, just one more time. Okay? Once more and then I’ll leave you alone.”  
> “Do not eat that cupcake. You are already sweet enough.”  
> “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.”  
> “Just for your information: I’m not wearing any underwear.”  
> “I’m not going to lie to you. I want your babies.”  
> “This is hard for me, too.”  
> “So, when can I pick up my stuff?’  
> “I like boys.”  
> “Did you notice that I was clicking my fingers, clearing my throat and banging my spoon on the table?”  
> “You have no right to be there without my permission.”  
> “I do not respond to any man’s finger.”  
> “Why anyone would want to buy a women’s magazine with a centerfold of a nude man is beyond me.”  
> “Now we’re getting somewhere, sit down and tell me about it.”  
> “You will wear pyjamas tonight. Suppose there was a fire and you had no clothes on?”  
> “You shall go to the ball.”  
> “You’re probably wondering why I’m walking like this…”  
> “I can’t wait more than ten minutes because I’m having a bath tonight.”  
> “You know it’s an offense to make dirty phone calls.“  
> “What about that man you met on your holiday?”  
> “These aspirins don’t seem to be doing any good at all.”  
> “I think we’ve attracted attention, all right.”  
> “Now listen, I’m gonna be later than I thought. So why don’t you lay down on that big comfy bed of yours and when I come home I’ll tickle your tummy all over.“  
> “Which is the quickest way out of here?”  
> “I assure you, there is nothing primitive about me.”  
> “You were expecting someone else?”  
> “I’d get dizzy if I tried to walk in a straight line.”  
> “I’ve always wanted to die a hero’s death!”  
> “But did you bother to tell anyone that they might be eating their own relatives?”  
> “This is a situation that requires tact and finesse. Fortunately, I am blessed with both.”  
> “Press the red button!”  
> “Well, I’ll tell you something that should be of vital interest to you.”  
> “But I don’t exist in your world!”  
> “You don’t appreciate its full potential, do you?”  
> “This thing actually attacked you?”  
> “I am many things.”  
> “Who would have thought it. My sweet queen.”  
> “You’re waiting for the right moment to say I told you so, aren’t you?”  
> “If I run now, I’ll be running forever.”  
> “You coming back for me really meant a lot after what I did to you.”  
> “You must have me mistaken for a pet.”  
> “Stop staring at me before I take your eyes out.”  
> “What would you do if I told you I am in love?”  
> “It doesn’t make sense. Look, it’s only got a bed in it.”  
> “I am pregnant, not brain damaged.”  
> “Well, I’m a virgin and I’m going to stay that way forever.”

_The Feud Song_

My favorite shades of black and blue  
Are those that show up on your skin  
The marks that I paint over you

Each time we dance like lovers do  
Each time the friendly ruse wears thin  
Each time I beat you black and blue

_Un jeu mortel, pour moi et tu_  
_Nous lutterons jusqu'á la fin  
_ _Une marque pour moi, une marque pour vous_

I’ve never given up, that’s true,  
We end the fight and then begin  
To show our colors, black and blue,

We end the war, begin anew—  
I will not stop. You cannot win.  
(I love to paint you black and blue  
And leave my marks all over you.)


	77. Shinsuke Nakamura and Kota Ibushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mxjoyride asked: shinsuke/kota - 50!
> 
> 50: “I am many things.”

Their lovemaking is everything. It fills Kota’s mind, his eyes, his ears, his mouth, it fills rooms and buildings and stadiums, it could shake down walls and he would still think of nothing else. And he’s been told that he’s beautiful, he’s somewhat aware, but he has never  _felt_  so vividly glorious in the eyes of another. (Kenny used to love him, but not like this.)

Shinsuke’s eyes are dark and filled with an energy that baffles as he looks up at Kota.

Kota says, as he’s said before, “Why?”

Shinsuke shrugs. “Because.” And grins like a wolf. “I’m a lover.”

Kota rolls his eyes. “ _That’s_  all you have to say to me?”

Another shrug. “I’m many things.”

“You’re obnoxious.”

“That’s one of them. And you, you’re many things as well.”

“If you don’t start giving me straight answers I’m going to make you wrestle me.”

Shinsuke’s grin gets even more obnoxious. “Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?”


	78. Simon Gotch and Bayley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boundandpacked asked: any platonic pairing/group you like, #45 - “Press the red button!”

Simon peers at the machine in Bayley’s hands. “What does it  _do?_ ”

Bayley frowns. “I’m…not sure. Finn gave it to me. He wasn’t really clear on how he got it.”

“Oh. I…thought it was something from now that I just didn’t recognize.”

“Should I press a button?”

“Ah…” Simon strokes his mustache nervously. “You got it from Finn. Are you sure that it won’t explode?”

“Don’t be silly, Finn likes me.” Bayley presses a yellow button on the top of the little device.

The machine unfolds, and Bayley squeaks in alarm and lets go of it–and it hovers in mid-air, opening and opening more into a floating still tableau of…

“Oh my god, is that Ricky Steamboat?” Bayley claps her hands over her mouth. “Is this Savage-Steamboat? It’s like…it’s mechanical or something.”

Simon gapes at the strange toy, eyes wide. “Press the red button. See what it does next.”


	79. Paige and Sami Zayn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: If you're still accepting requests, paige/sami zayn, 13.
> 
> 13: “I woke up wet this morning.”

“Oh my god,  _how?_ What  _happened?_ ”

“Got a shitty hotel room, I guess.” Sami sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. “The air conditioner leaked on me. I’m surprised I didn’t wake up.”

Paige  _does_  laugh–enough that she almost drops her phone. “You poor baby! Did you complain yet?”

“You know I hate complaining at hotel people.” There’s a muffled noise, probably Sami moving his phone to his other ear. “Wish you were here, though.”

“So I could  _also_  be wet?” She snorts.

“We could be wet together. It’d be romantic.”

“Oh, yeah,  _very_  romantic. Just two young lovers, covered in air conditioner condensation.”

She can  _hear_  him grinning. “See, exactly. We could post it on Instagram.”


	80. Shane Matthews and Scott Parker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 3.0 and #2
> 
> 2: “We need to talk.”

“SCOTT!”

Scott jumps. Not that he’d been having a  _particularly_  quiet moment, but Shane is, as always,  _very_  loud. “Yeah, Shane?”

“We need to talk!”

“About…what?” Scott is…honestly, nervous. What would Shane want to talk about? Recent matches? Their next road trip? Time travel? “Is something up?”

“I. Uh.” And Shane freezes up for a moment, which is  _even weirder_ , and then says, “Wanna get married?”

“We can’t just–wait, what?”

“Married. Us. To each other. Wanna?”

“I…”

“Because I was thinking and what if you died,  _Archie_  died, and then I got really freaked out and I think we should get married! For reasons!” Shane is turning bright red.

Scott stares at him and then says the first thing that pops into his head, which is, “Yeah, ok. Reasons. Let’s get married.”


	81. Kevin Condron and Drew Gulak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Condron/Gulak: 11, 33, or 44
> 
> 33: “You know it’s an offense to make dirty phone calls.”

Drew picks up his phone and the first thing Kevin says to him is, “I’m thinking about installing a mirror on the ceiling of my bedroom.”

Drew groans. “We don’t even  _use_  your bedroom, Troll sleeps in there.”

“I can kick him out, Lucas can take care of him. Besides, Chuck’s always around your place, how is that different?”

“I’m not even going to answer that.”

“I mean, we could invite him, he could come too.”

“No, Chuck can’t–I’m not even having this discussion with you right now, I’m trying to get things done today.”

“Or Orange, Orange is cute. I mean, he’s not as cute as me, but he’s pretty cute.”

Drew hangs up the phone.

–

Later Kevin gets home and Drew is just sort of…sitting on his couch. “You know it’s illegal to make dirty phone calls, right?”

“I mean it’s also illegal to pick locks, but you’re here anyway.” Kevin flings himself onto the couch and flops across Drew’s lap.

“I don’t pick locks. Lucas let me in.”

Kevin flutters his eyelashes. “Tell me I’m pretty.”

“I’ve got a  _lot_  of things to tell you, you distracting asshole, I didn’t get _anything_  done today.”


	82. Proletariat Boar of Moldova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Boar and someone of your choosing - 16
> 
> 16: “Please, just one more time. Okay? Once more and then I’ll leave you alone.”

“Prakash, I’m tired.”

“But you’re so  _tall._ ” Prakash bounces up and down on the balls of his feet. “The view is so  _nice._ ”

Boar sighs. “My knees hurt, though.”

“Please, just one more time. Ok? One more and then I’ll leave you alone.”

A pause, and then another sigh, and Boar says, “Ok,” and drops to one knee.

Prakash scrambles onto his back, grinning, and cackles with delight as Boar stands again. “I love being tall!”


	83. Tyler Breeze and Adrian Neville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: tyler/adrian + 36?
> 
> 36: “I think we’ve attracted attention, all right.”

Tyler is feeling very vocal today. This is awkward, given that he’s also feeling particularly demanding. And showy. And thus at his insistence they’re in a maintenance closet next to the weight machines.

After one especially loud sound Adrian blushes and says, “Can’t you keep it down a bit, mate? People are going to hear us.”

Tyler rolls his eyes, smirks, and murmurs, “It’s not fun if we’re not attracting attention.” And then moans out, “Oh~hh,  _Adrian,_ ” in his most carrying voice.

“…I think we’ve attracted attention, all right.”

In response Tyler moves his hips sharply, which makes  _Adrian_  make an unexpectedly loud noise.

A gentle knock on the closet door. “Boys.”  _William Regal._  “We all appreciate your attempts to entertain us, but this is hardly the place.”

“You could  _join_  us, Mr. Regal,” Tyler croons. “I’m  _hungry._ ”

There’s a faint thump, which to Adrian, even in his distracted state, sounds suspiciously like William Regal’s forehead against the door. “Bloody  _demons._ ”

“Says  _you,_  mate.” Adrian’s gasping; Tyler is doing something  _terrible_  with his tongue now. “ _You’re_  not ‘is  _lunch._ ”


	84. Kevin Condron and Lucas Calhoun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 17 - Kevin/Lucas
> 
> 17: “Do not eat that cupcake. You are already sweet enough.”

“I’m not sweet, I’m badass.” Kevin keeps reaching for the cupcake. “ _And_  sweet. I’m also very handsome and charming. And I’m always right.”

“Well then, don’t eat that cupcake, it’s  _mine._  You  _had_  your share.” Lucas pulls the box away from him.

“Did I mention the always right part?” Kevin dives for the cupcake.

Lucas twists around to hold it out of reach again.

Troll steals the cupcake. It’s in his mouth before either of them even realize that he’s taken it.

Kevin looks up at Lucas and says, “I meant for that to happen.”

“I’m not blaming him, kid’s gotta eat.”

Missile walks in, sees them–Kevin sprawled across Lucas’ lap, Lucas still holding the now-empty box in the air, Troll devouring his cupcake next to the couch–stares for a moment, and then turns and leaves again without a word.


	85. Proletariat Boar of Moldova and Oleg the Usurper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 43 - Boar/Oleg because it's too perfect not to use Boar/bacon jokes.
> 
> 43: “But did you bother to tell anyone that they might be eating their own relatives?”

Oleg takes a cheerful bite of his turkey leg. “I did not think that it would bother you.”

Boar fumes. “ _Domestic pigs_  are an embarrassment to all swine.”

“So you hate them, and it should not bother you.”

“It  _doesn’t._  But did  _you_  bother to tell anyone that they might be eating their own _relatives?_ ”

“It didn’t occur to me that you would think of pigs as relatives. You are not a pig. You are a boar. It’s very different.”

Boar glares at him for a moment and then  _whuffs._  “…that beef and bacon pie smells excellent. And I’m extremely angry with you.”

“Have some pie.”

“Shut up.”

“I once saw a pig eat half of a refuse bin!”

“ _Pigs_  are  _filthy animals_  and they make  _all swine_  look bad.”

“So have some pie, then.”

Boar snorts irritably. “Don’t mind if I do.”


	86. Icarus and Heidi Lovelace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: 13 - Icarus/Heidi
> 
> 13: “I woke up wet this morning.”

Mark wakes up to Heidi sitting squarely on his chest, looking furious. “I woke up _wet_  this morning. Care to explain  _why?_ ”

Mark’s eyes go wide. He points at the man passed out next to him with his chin. “It was Icarus’ idea, go beat  _him_  up.”

She just hops from Mark’s chest onto Icarus’ and smacks her new victim square across the face. “Water balloon. Bed.  _Explain._ ”

Icarus winces, but then grins instead of cowering. “It seemed like a safer prank then hiding your vibrator in Dasher’s things.”

“Flyboy, all that answer does is open up a whole  _other_  line of questions.”

“I wanted to see if your underwear would fit me.”

“I–” she pauses. “Sorry, what?”

“I wanted to see if–”

“Don’t say it again.  _Why?_ ”

“Because? You have cute underwear and I like to feel pretty.”

She stares at him intently. “…your hips are too wide.”

“She’s right, man,” Mark says from a safe distance across the room. “She’s pretty tiny. I  _told_  you it was a bad idea.”

“I’ll take you underwear shopping if you let me take pictures afterward.”


	87. Werewolf!Dean Ambrose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boundandpacked asked: also wolfbrose and “I do not respond to any man’s finger.”

“Come on, siddown.”

“Fuck you.”

Seth cracks his knuckles, and says, “ _Sit._  The  _pizza’s_  ready.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I am  _playing_  Ms. Pac-Man.” Which is true; he’s blowing through levels of Ms. Pac-Man like nothing, while at a nearby table a group of college students watch with wide, reverent eyes. “I’ll sit down when I’m done.”

“I’m going to send you to fucking obedience school. Teach you to sit your ass down and have dinner when you’re told to.” Seth points insistently at the seat across from him in the booth, because it’s either that or get up and drag Dean over bodily.  _“Sit. The fuck. Down.”_

“A werewolf is a noble creature,” Dean says airily. “I don’t respond to any man’s finger.”

“I have video footage that says different.”

The college students at the next booth stifle alarmed laughter as Dean’s shoulders twitch. “That’s a low blow.”

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday, I’m doing it for your own good. Sit your ass down and eat a slice of pizza.”

Dean throws up his hands in disgust and sits down at the booth. One of the college students immediately leaps up to continue his game before Ms. Pac-Man can get killed by ghosts.

“Fuck you, ok, this pizza is delicious,” Dean says after two slices, and just before a third. “Also I’m taking fucking ‘video footage’ of  _you_  later, asshole.”


	88. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jamesneatojourney asked: Cassamore 6?
> 
> 6: “I’m touching myself right now.”

Enzo is feeling  _itchy_  today, is how Cass generally thinks of it. Far as he knows, there isn’t an actual  _precise_  word for what Enzo’s like right now–it’s a combination of horniness, affection, over-caffeinated bounce-off-the-walls energy, and downright Bugs-Bunny goddamn  _obnoxious assholishness._  He spent all of breakfast drawing dirty cartoons on his pancakes in syrup. Then he insisted on a piggyback ride, which isn’t unusual, he likes being tall.

And now that he’s comfortably  _settled_  on Cass’ back and there’s a goddamn  _tour group_  making its way towards the Performance Center,  _he’s started fucking talking._  Not only does he  _keep fucking talking,_  he keeps  _talking about fucking._

All Cass wanted to do was have a nice quiet day. It’s  _leg_  day. He  _likes_  leg day.

Enzo nibbles on his ear and says, “You should wear red more, you look good in red, makes me wanna suck your dick.”

“’Zo, for chrissake.” Cass shifts awkwardly. “I just wanna get some leg press done.”

“I wanna tie you to the bed and ride you until you faint.”

 _“Zo.”_ The tour group is nearing the gym. Cass can  _hear_  them. And he can _feel_  Enzo snickering next to his ear, which means that he’s only going to get more obnoxious.

It’s distractingly, stupidly, unreasonably attractive.

“At least keep your damn  _voice_  down.”

“We could just hide from the tour,” Enzo murmurs, waving cheerfully at the tour group as they move past not quickly enough. “Sneak into Regal’s office. Gonna bend you over his desk.”

Cass waves too, while backing up just close enough to a table that Enzo can slide off his back and sit down. “Look, Enzo, you’re either gonna have to stop talking or stop touching me.”

“Not touching you anymore.” Which is true. “Touching  _myself_  right now.” Which…Cass can’t verify, because if he turns around to look at Enzo they are _definitely_  going to get in trouble.

“Ok,  _also_  stop talking.”

Enzo grabs his ponytail and pulls him backwards. Kisses the back of his neck. Cass is  _really_  glad that nobody else is in the gym right now, because he’s _definitely_  hard and he is  _not_  wearing good pants for hiding it. Also Enzo’s beard kind of tickles, but the irritating sensation is immediately lost in hearing him say, very softly, “Turn around.”

Cass says, “We’re gonna get in trouble,” as he’s turning around.


	89. Drew Gulak and Chuck Taylor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jamesneatojourney asked: Drew / Chuck number 11
> 
> 11: “Meet me for lunch. I want you to grope me in the car.”

Chuck blinks. “Dude. Drew. Normally  _I’m_  the one making the dirty phone calls.”

“First time for everything.” Drew sounds desperately bored on the other end of the phone call.

“What’s  _with_  you today?”

“I’m  _bored._  That’s seriously it. There’s nothing to do today. No work, no training classes scheduled, I need something to do, come have lunch with me.”

“And then have sex in your car.” Chuck grins. “Just to be clear on that.”

“ _Yes,_  also that.”

“Can we go to KFC?”

“Yes, we can go to KFC.”

“All  _right._ ” Chuck pauses. “Where’s the car gonna be parked? Because if someone might see us I feel like I should put on a clean shirt or something.”


	90. Stardust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jamesneatojourney asked: Stardust 42 (to the cosmic king? Maybe?)
> 
> “I’ve always wanted to die a hero’s death!”

Stardust flings himself gleefully backwards into a chair and cackles. “I win, I win I win. I don’t  _lose,_  I  _win,_  galaxies will align with black holes at their hearts and I’ll eat  _everything!_ ”

Barrett doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then he adjusts his crown so he can scratch his head. “I like you, Dust, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying most of the time.”

“My flesh is the stuff of comets and my enemies will be pebbles in my tail.”

“Wouldn’t all those black holes kill you, though?”

“Even better, even better! I’ve always wanted to die a hero’s death!”

Barrett sighs and looks over at Konnor. “Look, you’ve been spending time with him, do  _you_  know what he’s on about?”

Konnor shrugs. “The cosmic wasteland called me here.”

“Oh, you’re no better.”


	91. Shinsuke Nakamura and Hirooki Goto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heelokada asked: Hi, I'm not sure if you're still doing that writing prompt, but if you are... Shinsuke Nakamura/Hirooki Goto, #47.
> 
> “But I don’t exist in your world!”

It goes like this: after the test of strength, there is strike, and strike, and strike, and then they fall on their backs on the mat, heads near each other, and the crowd can’t hear Shinsuke say, softly, “Once we could have ruled the world together.”

“Together?” Hirooki tries to grin, but it’s more like a grimace as he gets back to his feet. “There isn’t the space for us to do it together. There’s too much of you.”

Strike and strike and kick and throw, grappling and breaking away, and as Hirooki’s lifting Shinsuke into the air Shinsuke manages to gasp out, “Not so much of me that I couldn’t make room for you.” And his back hits the mat.

“I don’t exist in your world.” Hirooki circles. “And I don’t think I’ve got the energy to try.”

The crowd is shouting.

Knee to the chin.

Hirooki falls back.

Shinsuke shrugs. “That’s fair.”


	92. Hideo Itami and Finn Balor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: request 2, hideo/Finn, #17
> 
> “Do not eat that cupcake. You are already sweet enough.”

“Oh my god,  _Finn._  You–that’s  _my_  cupcake, you already  _had_  one.” Carmella lets out a meep of rage as Finn climbs up the nearest bank of lockers and perches atop it, cupcake in hand. “Baby, get over here so I can climb up on your shoulders and get my cupcake back.”

Bayley blinks and nods, still sucking frosting off her fingers as she crouches so Carmella can get up.

Finn moves backward along the lockers, grinning. “Nah, too late, it’s mine now.”

So of course this is when Hideo comes in and stops, raising an eyebrow. “Do I ask?”

“He stole Carmella’s cupcake,” Bayley says, as if this somehow entirely excuses their bizarre game of locker-top chicken.

Hideo looks up at Finn with a heavy sigh. “This is true, Finn?”

“Of course it’s true, he took it outta my damn  _hand_ , the louse–”

Another heavy sigh. But Hideo’s mouth twitches a little. “<Finn, don’t eat that cupcake.>”

“What’s he sayin’? Bay, you understand what he’s sayin’?”

“<You’re already sweet enough, you don’t need more.>”

Finn turns faintly pink. “<I was going to give it back.>”

“Bay–”

“’Mella, I don’t speak Japanese, I can’t–”

Finn hands Carmella back her cupcake. “<Flirting is cheating.>”

Hideo shrugs, grinning. “<So I’m a cheater.>”


	93. Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> majorheelturn asked: and finally because otherwise you wouldn't believe it was me--Adrian/Sami, 19!
> 
> I meant I’d believe it but I’d also be very concerned.
> 
> “Just for your information: I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“I’m  _really_  liking the cape look. It’s very comic-book.”

Adrian jumps as arms wrap around him from behind. “Sami? How did  _you_  get here?”

“Well, I’m still out on injury, figured I’d stop by to visit my favorite superhero.” Sami’s beard tickles Adrian’s ear. “I mean, just for your information, I did _also_  dress up.”

He twists as much as he can to look at Sami. “I don’t think the Animal Collective shirt counts as dressing up, Sami, even if it’s your favorite.”

“Ok so I guess it’s more a question of  _not_  dressing up. I wore your favorite underwear. Which is to say none. That was supposed to be a surprise but I’ve missed you.”

Adrian makes an awkward throat noise. “Sami, I’m meant to be on  _air_  in five minutes.”

Sami grins and kisses him on the curve of one ear. “Don’t let Stardust notice.”

“I’m going to  _kill_  you.”

“In nice ways? You promise?”


End file.
